Happy New Year! For those of us working in public schools in the Northeast, we are back to school today for two of the most pointless days of the school year. I truly hope you get more out of my Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl than the kids will be getting out of us today and tomorrow.
1
Our dryer broke about a month ago. The nice laundromat, where we have been bringing everything to dry, is next to our favorite beer and wing joint. I think we are not going to buy a new dryer.
2
Why do old social media posts show up years later like they are new? You go ahead and comment, thinking you're being all nice and shit, then the original poster is like, "Um, that was two years ago. But thanks?"
3
I will never learn. I hate untying my sneakers only to retie them. So, I try to shove my foot in while it is tied. Sometimes my foot fits in. Most times it does not. Either way, the tongue on the shoe ends up bunched up under the top of the sneaker OR the back of the sneaker is crunched up and won't unfold. So, you know what I have to do? Untie my sneaker then tie it again.
4
I listen to audiobooks all the time. The worst thing is when I have 5 minutes left of a book and someone calls me. Not only does it kill the buildup and suspense of the ending. But it's also just not easy to listen when I'm not driving. People interrupt me when you walk in the house. I just needed 5 more f'ing minutes.
5
If you say something, and that something is a song lyric, I am going to sing it back to you, even if it's not an appropriate time to do it. It might be loud, or I might just mumble it, but my mind cannot help but connect the words with the tune.
6
It's a real bummer when you look down at noon on a workday and realize your fly has been down all day. It's not eye-opening, but rather, fly-opening.
7
Forget those little ham and cheese sandwiches. Straight up PB&J on a Hawaiin roll might be the best thing ever.
8
I was at a wedding shower over the weekend. And we started discussing party favors. The topic of Jordan almonds came up. What even are those things? It's like the weirdest candy coating over a stale nut that tastes super funky when you eat it but then becomes addictive. The things are actually so hard, I was always afraid I would break a tooth eating them. I think dentists are the ones who still use these as gifts at parties. They're an investment in the future.
9
Overheard from a husband at a recent get-together - "If there was an award for not being able to leave a party, my wife would win the gold medal."
10
Many of you made some ridiculous new year's resolutions you're already having trouble keeping. I say, screw that. I'm not going to start off the year hating myself for not doing something I will eventually end up doing later in the year anyway. #YOLO
My liver needs a vacation from me. But that's not going to happen either. Thinking about Jordan almonds made me a bit nostalgic. Then I saw this recipe in an old-fashioned punch bowl, and I had to share. In this new year, keep it simple and keep it boozy.
A punch of punch
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