The government is sending out more stimuli to the American people this week. My hope is that this edition of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is at least as stimulating as "free" money.
1
In a hotel room, where they have blinds and blackout curtains, how is it that I cannot block out all the light? There's always that one stream of light, where the curtains didn't connect, there to annoy me as I try to sleep in. Literally have tried everything but staples to hold the seams together. Have to add stapler to the next packing list.
2
If I schedule a massage, I am not there to hear my masseur blab on and on about the climate of politics, or the state of his/her family, or anything really. What I want is hands, moving up and down my body, with no words. At all. #stfu
3
I am not an overly outdoorsy kind of girl. I am, however, a big fan of outdoor events. Want to know why? Because I can eat and drink whatever I want and not have to worry about farting.
4
All of the illness in the world got me thinkin' - if I was dying in the Amazon from open wounds, I would pour vodka on them so I could live. So, why not start from the inside out? My vodka cleanse begins today!
5
My phone dings all day with some of the most depressing and discouraging news in the world. But today, for a change, I saw this and got giddy - "Paying Less for Beer in CT: Here's Why, When It Takes Place." Finally, a reason to actually stay in this overtaxed state! (If you understood how much beer my husband drinks, you'd get why I'm elated)
6
Don't you hate when you drive by a car, and their headlights are so bright, you don't know if they are flashing their high beams at you or just hitting some holes in the road? Slow down or swerve? That is the question.
7
They need to create a crumb dispenser on the side of a butter bucket. If all I used butter for was to enhance my toast, fine, but I don't want no bread fragments in my cake batter, dammit!
8
I'm convinced web developers named their creepy data bugs "cookies," so no one would get freaked out that the seemingly tasty treat you just agreed to is actually monitoring your every move.
9
Why is it that the only thing I bring home from the grocery store that spills in my car is milk? And, yes, I do cry over it, because there ain't no way to get that smell out of the car. Ever.
10
I do not think of myself as lazy. Instead, I am highly selective with the things in which I choose to participate.
This is my week back from vacay, and I gotta tell you, I ain't feelin' it. At least today, we saw the sun for the first time in forever here in the Northeast. Instead of looking at a calendar for regular things to celebrate, I've decided to share this calendar of liquor holidays. Gives you a little something to look forward to, all year round. Next up, Daiquiri Day. You're welcome.
High-spirited Holidays
Amazing Gina. You always seem to be able to come up with these funny little ditties. Love them, and enjoy your trip. 😘