In true New England style, we're going from 80-degree days to rain/sleet/snow within a week. My daughter is going to be so pissed when she returns home from Cali. Hope you won't be as disappointed by this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
When I was growing up, there were no nail salons. I mean, if there were, my middle-class ass didn't know about them. So, I had to reach down and paint my own toenails. Man, I wish I still had the bendability to do that now.
2
I voice text so much that my husband responds to me while I'm doing it, like he actually thinks I'm talking to him.
3
And while we are on phones, should I be offended when someone has me on silent? Like, are they in an important meeting and can't be disturbed? Or are they tired of hearing from me? I mean, they know I can see that I am muted, right?
4
Why does my car alert me to freeze warnings at 39 degrees? I don't know shit about science, but I am pretty sure that they told me the freezing point of water is 32 degrees.
5
Coyotes have been rampant and loud in my neighborhood lately. When they are agitated, it sounds like dogs are being slaughtered in my own home. So, I was quite surprised the other night when I clearly heard these cries, and I asked my husband if he did as well. He said that he didn't, because he was watching a TikTok video. This pretty much confirms that I could be murdered in my bed, and my husband would be completely oblivious. Great.
6
I mentioned last week that my neck was hurting. I have been using a heating pad to help. However, I fell asleep on the heating pad and burned the other side of my neck with the stretched-out welt that looks like a knife scar. And it hurts like hell. I seriously can't make this shit up.
7
Oreos have a peal-back, resealable opening on the top, so you can get what you want and preserve the rest of the contents. Anyone who opens the end of that pack like a bag of chips, and doesn't even bother to close it up with a clip, is a damn psychopath.
8
I was talking to a bartender about women who have RBF (Resting Bitch Face). He said he had the guy version, but didn't know what to call it. I promptly came back with RDF (Resting Dick Face).
9
I work in education. So happy that instead of just dissolving the Department of Education all together, Linda McMahon has been chosen to rule over my domain. I mean, why not have a pro-wrestling enthusiast preside over our children's future? It needs a good smack down, right? We can have an A-team, a B-team and they can tag team each other to lead the classrooms. It might come down to a death match, but I am sure she will champion the rights and needs of educators.
10
There should be a law against people who expose their butt cracks in restaurants. I mean, seriously, that should at least warrant a citizen's arrest, no?
I do live in CT, so I have to congratulate Geno Auriemma on becoming the winningest coach in NCAA history last night. I don't care if you love or hate UCONN basketball. This achievement needs to be celebrated! So, why not try one of these fun, basketball-themed recipes?
Prime Thyme
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