They might be muting the mics in America, but you can’t stop me from speaking my mind in this week’s Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I have my own meaning for MAGA – Make Alcohol Great Again! Think of the joyous harmony that could preside over us all if we were just tipsy all day…
2
If the police arrest a mime, do they tweak the Miranda warning, because, duh?!?
3
What the hell is giving more than 100%? You can’t do that. So if you think you’re inspiring people with that higher number, maybe you should reconsider the mental capacity of the people you’re trying to inspire. Just sayin’...
4
Another “more than” that I find irksome, and this is very relevant right now - “More than 200 cases of the deadly virus have been reported.” Like, how many more? One more? OK, then I guess I’ll still go shopping and see my friends. Or is it like 1000 more? Cuz in that case, I’m crawling back in my hole until Spring. #stopwiththevague
5
You have some test done at the doctor’s office, and you’re waiting on the results. Like you’re holding your phone all day, every day, waiting to see the screen light up or feel the vibration. But they don’t call your cell, they call your home – a phone you never pay attention to. Regardless, they don’t ever call on a Monday at 9:00am, they call on a Friday at 4:55pm. Or you don’t get home until 4:55pm, and by the time you’ve listened to the cryptic message, it’s too late to get a live person on the phone until MONDAY!!!
6
I have been forced to use a lot of pencils lately. Which made me think, if the #2 pencil is the best/most popular in the world, why is it still #2?
7
That moment when you have your hands under the sink to wash them, and you realize that you forgot to roll up your sleeves. And the water already hit the bottom of the sleeve. And it’s a thick, sweatshirt-like sleeve, which will stay wet like that for hours.
8
Why does my spouse or daughter only have a question for me when the TV show I’m watching is about to reveal the most climactic, important storyline of the whole season?
9
Since it’s Halloween, I am, of course, enjoying all the Christmas music that’s playing. And the ever-famous Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas” was just on. Ladies, I don’t know about you, but this is about the biggest load of horse dung I’ve ever heard. No, I don’t just want my significant other as a “gift!” I get that “gift” every damn day. How about you take the kids to practice, unprompted? Or send me on a spa day, spontaneously? Hell, just do the grocery shopping! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ms. Carey!
10
Did you ever think that there has been no new season of Stranger Things, because, perhaps, there is nothing stranger than what we’re living now?
Just as the Catholic Church relaxes its britches, the Supreme Court might tighten its panty-strings. Will the world ever be in sync? Well, I know what syncs up perfectly - me and vodka. I’ll stick with that!
Hoping the next time I see you, it's with a cocktail.
Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl
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