I'm happy you turkeys didn't notice that I took last week off! But I am back and better than ever (imho) with this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I had a particularly vulgar rant the other day. Afterward, I thought to myself, I bet my grandparents have a giant swear jar up the Heaven, and I am going to be the richest bitch on the back side of the Pearly Gates because of it.
2
Why is it that once you get a shot in the arm, it's like a secret signal for everyone to zone in and either squeeze, grab or punch that part of your body?
3
People say exercise is great for the mind. So I exercise my right to talk incessantly, daily, about nothing in particular.
4
If you’ve already decided that my answer was going to be incorrect, then why the hell did you ask me the question in the first place?
5
When you're at the drive-thru lane at the bank, and it clearly states, "Limit 2 Transactions," it doesn't mean one of those transactions can consist of 20 checks and the other involves 5 minutes worth of questions. #getyourlazyassinside
6
If you order a pizza, and you only ask for toppings on half of it, why does the restaurant charge you like you put it on the entire pizza? I mean, was it really that hard to do half the work? If you're going to make me spend that much, can't you at least double up the toppings on my one side?
7
Someone please explain to me what words are coming out of my mouth every day to inspire spam emails in my inbox titled “Insta Hard” and “Keep her going all night!” Or my favorite, “Your prostate.” Huh? Not-that-old FEMALE here!
8
If the parking lot is packed, and you go to the back of your car, unload everything, get in the drivers seat and proceed to sit there and eat your lunch, all while you clearly see me waiting for your spot, you are the lowest of the low in this human race. #fuckyou
9
The thought of me going to the gym is comical enough. But the audacity to think that I might wake up any earlier than necessary to primp for a workout is ludicrous. WTF? Shower to get sweaty? Oh, and there’s nothing more attractive than mascara and eyeliner dripping down my face, as I am gasping for breath on the 1cm incline on the treadmill.
10
Um, no honey, Giving Tuesday does not mean I am giving you THAT!
How is it December? Like, we have less than a month until this year is over, and I can’t remember a damn thing I’ve done. Hoping everyone’s Amazon orders get off the slow boats on time. And if you’re lucky enough to actually find a PS5 to buy, may you turn around and sell it to retire comfortably!!
Gaming and Gimlets
from Gadgette.com | Video-inspired Cocktails
Kommentare