We've had some beautiful weather in the Northeast this week. Of course, now that we have a long, holiday weekend ahead, that will all be ruined by rain and storms. Especially since all the pools will finally open. My Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl this week has nothing to do with any of that. And I don't think anyone really cares.
1
I love English Muffins. And y'all know I think less of you if you need to use a knife to cut them in half. But please explain why they have to have those little seedy things on the bottom of them, that fall all over the counter, the toaster, the floor, your car (if you have your morning muffin on a paper plate that slides around and drops seedlings in your seat creases in which you need tweezers to remove).
2
Why is it that when there are strawberries in the plastic container, my daughter will look at them like wilted lettuce. BUT, if I take the time to rinse and cut them into smaller pieces, she thinks they are the best berries she has ever eaten?
3
Don't you wish there was real-life instant replay, so when someone says, "That's what you just said," but you know that's only what they HEARD, you could call "bullshit" and prove it?
4
I might have said this before, but why does anyone put a mirror on the back of a door that directly faces a toilet bowl? Now boys, you might not get this one as much. But no matter what business I am doing, I am doing it sitting down. And the last thing I want to see when I look up, is my own fat ass, partially undressed. It's like you start staring at yourself, wondering if you always look that bad, then forgetting you have to poop, because now you're just sad and want to get out of there.
5
I had to plan out and purchase lunches for various reasons for my kid this week. Then I actually had a field trip for school, completely forgot I needed to pack a lunch, and ended up throwing the most random assortment of pre-packaged shit in a bag so I wouldn't starve. And all I kept thinking is, "Where is my mommy lunch packer?"
6
My child calls my cell phone. I can't pick up, because I am on a business call. I get an immediate text asking, "What if I was dying?" Flip side. I text her 16 times, call her, then text her another 16 times, and she still won't answer me. Mind you, I am trying to do something critical for HER when I'm doing this. And when I say, "So what if I was dying," she tells me I am completely overreacting and why am I "yelling" at her.
7
I hear a lot about BDE (Big Dick Energy), probably because I watch a lot of really bad TV. Long story short, it boils down to having confidence because you are well-endowed. Ladies, I say screw that. I think BTE (Big Tit Energy) will topple that BDE any day. Mainly because, I can squish your "D" or your face or anything I want in between my girls and suffocate them to death. End of story. #winning
8
I found out that my daughter will be going to school with Guy Fieri's son in the fall. And all I could think was, honey, just have the kid's love child so we can blackmail his dad into cooking for us for the rest of our lives. Pretty please!
9
Tonight, my husband is out of town, and my kid is nowhere to be found. This means I am happily enjoying my dinner of chips and ranch dip, with a side of wine (bottle).
10
Best meme that I saw this week - Netflix should stop asking me if I'm still watching and instead ask me if I remembered to switch my clothes from the washer to the dryer.
If chips and dip were the only food group there was, I would be such a happy person. So, this week, I am highlighting the chip/dip charcuterie (still don't know how to pronounce this word). If I can throw a couple of bowls on a platter, fill them with canned sauces, then scatter broke-ass chips all around them, and still come out looking bougie, then I am all in!
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from Epic rectangular chips and dips board for any party! Use this board for a game day, Cinco de Mayo, or any… | Party food appetizers, Appetizer recipes, Food platters (pinterest.ca)
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