Your wallet might be empty after Prime Day(s), but your life will be full after reading this week's edition of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
Long weekends are really for shit. Don’t get me wrong – I love the extra day off. However, I really don’t know what day it is the rest of the week, I’m screwing up everyone’s schedules left and right, and I feel guilty for all the stuff I didn’t accomplish with this gift of extra time.
2
I was at a stop light the other day, next to a car whose music was so loud, it sounded like it was coming from my car. So I started car dancing to the beat, and the other driver looked at me like I was the one who was crazy.
3
You know when you have a deadline, and there’s that one co-worker who hovers at your desk, telling some story that seemingly has no point or end? And you’re trapped in the room, with no polite way out? If you are currently working from home, co-worker could be replaced with your spouse or kid…
4
Speaking of conversations, what do you do when the neighbor comes over and drops something off, only to have a very long, drawn-out conversation in your open doorway? Like, what’s the acceptable amount of time before you either end the conversation or invite them in? And do you have to invite them in? I mean, I didn’t invite you here, you’re using up all my heat or AC and I have shit to do…
5
Paper wrappers on ice cream cones COULD be a fantastic marketing tool – if the damn things would come off! After all these years, you’re telling me that the glue nerds have not come up with a less sticky option, that doesn’t leave my last heavenly bite of cone and ice cream combo tarnished?
6
Another generational gap thingy – the top sheet. Personally, I can’t live without it. I need that extra layer of protection for my poor comforter. Plus, sheets come in a set for a reason. And people sit on your comforter. I don’t want your nasty-ass body oils all over it. Just use it, young ‘uns. XO Grandma Gina
7
I hate feet. Like, I am legit pedaphobic. The only feet I can really tolerate are baby feet, because those don’t touch the ground, they don’t sweat and they are cute. So, I think the universe is getting its revenge on me by giving me teen feet in the house. Man, I don’t know what teenage hormones do to trickle down that far, but it is rank, and it is lethal. I’m kind of out of options, and find myself buying my kid a new pairs of sneakers, because that stench simply does not leave my nostrils.
8
Why do any shoes still tie with laces? And why do those laces involve a knot that is tied so tightly, that even the Incredible Hulk could not tear it apart, only at the moment that we needed to be out the door ten minutes ago?
9
When a car alarm goes off in an empty parking lot, why is it only the person whose car alarm is actually the culprit who never notices it?
10
Remember, when you're looking for love in all the wrong places, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Judicial candidates are skirting the issues, Congress can't agree on anything, but the Christmas decorations are still up in all the stores - before Halloween. I'm going to settle down this weekend with my apple cider toddy and enjoy some mindless TV, like the new season of The Bachelorette. Because whoever that chick decides to marry, but doesn't, makes about as much sense as anything else right now!
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