Thanksgiving is next week. Which means Christmas is, like, a month away. Even though I pretend to be organized and on top of things, I'm not. I'm actually losing my shit. This week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl proves it.
1
I had my jeans this many years long enough that I blew out the crotch in the last pair and was forced to buy new ones.
2
I would be perfectly fine with a sugar cone, packed to the top with ice cream, and not even a little over.
3
When you see that the stoplight is red, but you can feel that it's going to turn green soon, so you inch your way up to it, as slow as you can without enraging the car in back of you, but you overshoot just enough so that you have to come to a complete stop right under the light, and as soon as you do, it turns green.
4
Why do manufacturers make car headlights that are so bright NOT on high beams that I have people flashing theirs and beeping at me, even though I have the damn things on Auto, so that I can be SURE that my high beams are not blinding you?
5
Thinking about stupid product names. The brand Depends. Depends on what? Whether or not you want to piss down your leg? There's no choice there!
6
A tip that I should have shared sooner - If you are using the self-checkout line, and you place an item in the baggage area that doesn't weigh enough to register on the purchased scale, you can avoid the flashing, "call-the-cashier" light by hitting the "Skip Bagging" button on the screen. You're welcome.
7
I really don't like earbuds. But if I do use them, the ones with those squishy rubber ends are the ones that fit best in my ear. But, of course, those squishy pieces detach, and now I'm left with one, comfortably soft bud and another that is razor sharp and might cut me. Why? Just why?
8
If you manufacture erasers, your objective is pretty clear - make a product that takes away all traces of lead markings. So why can't you just do that then? Why do so many of my pencils make big black smudges on my papers, rather than actually doing the one damn thing they're supposed to do?
9
I tried to do a messy bun trick I saw on Tik Tok. Instead of messy, I would say that it was more of a bat-shit-crazy bun.
10
Did you ever hear someone's personalized ring tone for someone else and wonder what kind of freak just called them? Oh, to be a fly on the wall...
I feel like daylight saving time is only catching up to me this week. And it's coming in with a fury. I'm looking forward to getting lit this coming Turkey Day. You need to plan to make that happen. Here is your delicious road map...
Boozy Fall Flavor
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