The team, formerly known as the Washington Redskins, has renamed themselves the Washington Commanders. My name is still the same, and I am still in command here at this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I got a new set of fantastic, non-stick pans this week. Upon reading the prep instructions, I came across this cautionary statement - "Birds are sensitive to cooking fumes and burned food fumes. These fumes can be caused from overheating your cookware, or from burning food, and can be hazardous or fatal to birds. Never keep pet birds in your kitchen." Other than making my face contort in such a way that it looked like I ate a dead bird, this made me realize that a) no birds would ever survive in my house and b) there must be some weird shit going on in people's kitchens to warrant a major product manufacturer adding this as a highlighted warning to consumers.
2
I think that any chip ending in to the sound "ito" is awesome. I don't care about fake cheese or preservatives or anything. You plop me down with a bag of Doritos, Fritos or Cheetos, and my mood will instantly change to happy.
3
My daughter has been trying out some new foods and recipes. She wanted to make pickled eggs, but she slipped and typed dickled eggs instead. It took me hours to cleanse my eyes from that browser search and even longer to make sure the search cookies were deleted.
4
Chewing gum is such a nice, refreshing burst to your mouth - until it starts to taste like paper and makes you want to gag. Once the peppermint blast is gone, I can't get this stuff out of my mouth fast enough. Look out of you're the car behind me...
5
Why can't the credit card readers at stores be more universal in their acceptance processes? They literally give me (and my sister, Jessica) anxiety attacks. Some you can put in at the beginning of the transaction. Some need a granting by the Pope before you can place your card inside. Some you pull out right away. Others take abnormally long. But if you look away for even one second, or God forbid try to help bag the groceries or something, that beeping becomes loud and furious. I keep waiting for the thing to start screaming, "take the card out, bitch!"
6
If I can get through an entire chapter of my audio book while waiting in line at your drive-thru window, your business has no business having a drive-thru window!
7
I love that my friends know me so well. Almost 10 of them texted me yesterday morning to warn me that I would dislike the Wordle word-of-the-day. If you play and didn't get the word, it means not dry. And it is the most disgusting word in the English language, IMHO.
8
Another gross word - read until the end. In my daughter's quest for delicious new foods, she discovered polenta. However, she keeps calling it placenta. And now that food is ruined for me. (what's even worse is that some of you might actually eat placentas. If you do, do not ever admit this to me. EVER!)
9
I hate when I am rocking out in the car, and I come up to a stop light. So I have to stop singing. I don't want the people in front of me or next to me to see me belting out my favorite song. Instead I start humming and drumming on the steering wheel, anxiously waiting for that light to turn, so I can get back into my groove. Finally it turns green. And the buzzkiller next to me suddenly needs to drive at the same speed as me, killing my mojo AGAIN? So I hit the brakes and slow down, just be alone in my lane.
10
You can try to explain this to me all you want, but there is no logical reason anywhere that explains why there is an "r" in the word "February."
That little shit groundhog saw his shadow again. I put about as much stock in him as I do in most weather forecasts - 0%. I don't even know why you people listen to me. Maybe recipes like these make my predictions seem more credible? One thing is certain - I will be drinking for the next six weeks...
Drinks you can enjoy over and over and over
OMG #3 😂