Happy Fall, y’all! I’m going to put the spice in your pumpkin in this week’s Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I’ve decided that Alexa is not doing enough in my house. I want to say, “Alexa, pleasure my husband,” and be done with that.
2
I am baffled by people who go to an online chatroom or page to ask questions which can CLEARLY be answered on a business/school/whatever’s Website. Or maybe even just call the place? Like, why do you trust unaffiliated strangers over people who ACTUALLY WORK THERE?
3
They won’t stop calling me for an extended warranty on my car. Um, my car currently has 184K miles on it, honey. I’m not a savvy investor, but even I know when I’m wasting my money.
4
Rarely do I call people. I am a texting maniac. So if I do take the time to call, and you don’t pick up, there is NOTHING more annoying than leaving a detailed message, only to have you call me back within seconds of that message being completed, and you haven’t listened to it, so now I have to repeat the whole damn thing again.
5
It’s the 21st Century. If you’re not going to release the entire series in one load, then don’t bother. I can’t be paying for your channel AND trying to remember to watch one show each week. Instant gratification by binge-watching or bust, I say!
6
As I’ve previously stated, I’m not the world’s best driver. So, there are quite a few routes where I know that I can skip the stop signs. I call these STOPTIONAL. And I say that word as I glide through the intersection, like it’s legit.
7
While we’re on the topic of driving, I am one who gives the polite wave if you let me merge or you wait for me to pull out in front of you. However, I can never really tell if you see my thank-you wave or not. Which causes me to wave not just when you grant me the courtesy, but then after I am in the spot in front of you. I might even do it more than once, or raise my hand a little higher to make sure it’s seen. And I’m acknowledging this kindness so much, that it might seem like I am doing some type of interpretive dance, just to get you to validate me.
8
You walk in hallways in the same lanes as you drive your cars. Duh.
9
As I alluded to my time of life last week, gentlemen, I have to emphasize that it was named MENopause, because you, men, are literally on pause from our consideration.
10
I just can’t with these Halloween guidelines. For God’s sake, just buy whatever candy you love, put it in a bowl and sit there plowing through it until you puke. I mean, that’s what’s ultimately going to happen anyway. So, cut to the chase and get ‘er done.
Rarely do I add in politics here, but I think we were all moved in some way by the loss of Ruth Bader Ginsburg this week. All I can do is encourage everyone to vote - and talk to your kids about voting. Preferably not when you’re drinking.
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