My sweat is sweating this week. I can't even drink enough to quench my thirst. Hoping this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is refreshing.
1
I went into a seedy kinda bar that had a security guard at the front door. This guy was easy on the eyes. He asked me and my crowd for our IDs. Later, I saw him pat down a young man walking in. Slightly jealous, I went out and asked the guard what I had to do to get that kind of treatment.
2
If you kill a cardinal (bird), be it accidentally or on purpose, does that send you immediately to Hell?
3
I want to eat healthier. I really do. But healthy food prep is so daunting. Take a watermelon, for example. Aside from being a total pain in the ass to chop up, and all its melon water leaking everywhere, it's like the damn thing is never-ending. I'll set out two huge containers in which to house my chunks or slices, and inevitably, I'll need two more. But by then, the juice is dripping on my kitchen floor, it's all over my hands, and it's like I'm stuck on the toilet with no TP as I call a family emergency meeting to help me secure more containers. Oh, and once I'm done, everyone in my family decides they're not that interested in watermelon anymore.
4
I enjoy being organized, and part of that is being able to purge crap without regret. This also extends into how many tabs are open on my phone. I am the queen of swiping up to close out unused tabs. The problem is that I am in such a rush to close all tabs, that I inadvertently shut down stuff I was saving to look at later, therefore killing the efficiency I was hoping to achieve.
5
I watch girls walk around with those shorts that ride up their butt cracks, and I think to myself, "how does it feel to have a wedgie all day?" They don't even try to pick it out. Thongs are bad enough, but showing it on the outside for all the world to see? #SMH
6
I just finished the book Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult. It was fascinating to realize what an absolutely fucked up situation we dealt with at the beginning of the pandemic. It also amazes me that three years later, we are still dealing with it.
7
My dentist appointments are made six months out. I put them on my calendar and conveniently forget about them. Until about a week before, when the reminder texts and calls start pouring in. That's also about that time that I start furiously brushing and flossing, like three or four times a day, to make sure it seems like dental care is at the forefront of hygienic routine.
8
I ordered a new pair of sneakers from a well-known retailer. They offered the option of no shipping charges if I picked up the package locally. So, I chose a store they offered that was two miles from my home. The product went out for delivery on the day they said, but when I tracked it, UPS said the address was incorrect, and it could not be delivered. They weren't wrong, per se. When I checked the tracking, it had only my first name with a street address and no designation of the retailer. So, UPS took it to their shipping facility and held it hostage. I could not change the information online, nor could I do it by calling the retailer or UPS. My only option was to drive to a location 16 miles away to pick up the package. Essentially, I ended up spending more for gas than I would have just paying the shipping costs. #SMHagain
9
I'm going to change the name of TJMaxx to TJSnacks, because in the past week, I have purchased more chips and candies from the checkout area than anything else in the store. Apparently, I am going to have the most kick-ass charcuterie on the planet!
10
I have come to the conclusion that I do not need to bother bringing a book to the beach unless I am totally alone. Even then, I would probably start up a conversation with the two-year-old next to me rather than actually read.
This weather does nothing for my motivation, except for my desperate attempts to get friends to invite me out on boats or to their lavish pools. In return, I offer these cocktails that you can drink on a hot day. Fair trade? I think so! And, you're welcome.
Quench Your Thirst in Style
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