The leaves are falling, so are mortgage rates, yet I'm just trying not to fall down drunk before I complete this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
Life 360 just told me it can help me get through puberty with my teen. Really? A tracking app has the cure for hormones and irrational mood swings? Well, I'll use that, print out my on-line medical degree and open up my counseling business, thank you!
2
I caved and subscribed to Hello Fresh last week. My first delivery got lost. Just further proof that I am truly not meant to cook.
3
As I comb through Facebook, Insta, Snap and Tik Tok posts, I am reminded constantly that anyone born before 1980 would definitely be serving jail time if we had had social media back in the day.
4
I am one of those people who actually like Pumpkin Spice, so sue me. But even I can admit that it's getting out of control. I mainly like the flavor of it in my coffee. Maybe a cookie. I don't need to bathe in it, shove pumpkin-scented tampons up my woo woo or grab a can of pumpkin spice Spam. Ew.
5
Another right of passage for Fall is a trip to the apple orchards, because pumpkin spice can't replace the good 'ol apple! Most of these orchards feature corn mazes. Which is all fun and good. Until you let your kids loose in them, unattended, and they touch these stalks, which are so sharp that the kids slice their hands open, and they emerge from the maze looking like a victims from Children of the Corn. You might think I'm kidding, but we still have a local group of kids (and parents) who are traumatized by a second-grade trip.
6
So who was the genius that decided jumping in a newly-raked pile of leaves was fun? I mean, I love it when hours of hard work is ruined in seconds, by children, who normally suck the life out of me as it is. Exactly the way I want to spend my weekend. Thanks.
7
Also, I know it's tempting to carve pumpkins as soon as the temperature drops below 70 degrees. But remember, carved pumpkins disintegrate - quickly. So that cute face you just carved will look like Sloth from The Goonies in about a week.
8
We eat out a lot for lunch at work. All I've been in the mood for recently is soup. I'm surrounded by TONS of restaurants, and none of them can make a decent soup. Why? This should be the least-challenging thing on the menu, right? The world just needs better soup shops. Or a nice old, Italian grandma who wants to come work in my office, with the sole purpose of preparing lunch.
9
This has been making me cringe this week - the saying of "on accident," rather than the correct way, "by accident."
10
My husband shared this great recipe with me, and I wanted you all to have it. He told me that his go-to cocktail is mixing half a glass of wine with another half glass of wine. Voila and Cheers!
Summer's over, peeps. You gotta face it. Pack up the flip flops, pull out the sweaters and try this Pumpkintini recipe. You will "Fall" in love with it!
Pumpkin, spice and everything nice!
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