I'm not Irish, but I have been described as The World's Tallest Leprechaun. Consider yourself lucky that I was sober enough to crank out this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
My husband believes that hot dog buns with the slit on the top (rather than the side) are only found in the Northeast. I disagree. Anyone care to prove me right?
2
Speaking of buns, the messy bun is a bunch of BS. It's supposed to be effortless, yet it takes a gazillion tries to make it look like you weren't trying.
3
Why do I go back and re-read a message I just sent, even though I previously read it 50 times and made edits?
4
I could barely bump something with any part of my body and still shout out, "Ouch!"
5
I create playlists to put all the song genres I want together in one place. Then I select "Shuffle," because I don't care about the order in which they are played. Until they start being played in the order I don't want them played. And then I find myself scrolling through to get to the songs I want to hear more than others, thereby negating the shuffle option.
6
If you see me having a conversation with myself, please do not interrupt me. You see, these are absolutely the best conversations I ever have.
7
When I watch a fake funeral on TV, it triggers this obsession where all I can think about is what people will say about me at my own funeral. Which then leads me into a depression about all my past mistakes, causing me to grab a pint of ice cream and some Baileys.
8
I'm running around like a crazy person, grab a bag of chips for lunch, and now, I am parched. I find a can of whatever in my car, and this is the time the damn can tab fails. So I use any sharp object available and start cutting into the can, desperately trying to quench this dry mouth, only to slice my finger open and possibly need stitches. Seriously?
9
Who came up with the saying, "Happy as a clam?" Like, how does anyone know that a clam is happy? They don't speak, or have facial expressions, and they're stuck in a shell, waiting to be eaten. Why in the HELL would that make it happy?
10
I was interviewing a reverse psychologist, and I asked why I should hire her. Her answer - "you shouldn't."
Finally, my winter fat is gone, and and now I have spring rolls. Forget buns of steel. I need cinnamon buns. And drinking them is even better.
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