Many in my generation started the past week watching the Friends reunion show. Frankly, I'm surprised I still have any friends after you read my Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I am sooooooo glad I had my child when I did. If I had to go through what these poor, expectant parents have to go through now just to tell their families the damn sex of their baby(babies), I would have a nervous breakdown. Not to mention that people are literally dying from these elaborate announcements. A phone call did me just fine, thank you!
2
My friend posted a meme, and it really resonated with me. I apologize to anyone who has in the past, or might in the future, ask me for directions. To anywhere. It could even be to my own house. Whoever you are, I bet you're still driving around in circles. And just minutes before, you had such hope that you ran into a live person who could help you. I tried to run away before you got to me. I tried to tell you how directionally-challenged I was, but you didn't want to listen. Well, shame on you, I guess.
3
Is sliced bread really that fabulous that we hold it as the gold-star standard for everything in the world? How much bread were people cutting when this became a saying? I can think of about 10,000,000 things that would be more valuable to me than sliced bread.
4
My TV remote stopped working the other day, and I went to the garage to find new batteries. As I browsed my selection, the thought that everyone has had before struck me again - why are there no "B" batteries? Like why are the tiniest ones "AAA," then "AA?" Why no "A," then "B?"
5
Why are my feet always so hot in bed? The rest of my body is cold to the touch and I'm shaking, but my feet feel inflamed. So much so that I have to kick vigorously to get them out of the covers. But ONLY my feet can be exposed. If any other part of my body is not covered, I can't relax. I need sheets and a comforter with foot holes. Bring that to Shark Tank, seamstresses!
6
While driving on the highway this weekend, I witnessed yet another person get off the wrong exit. Now instead of just getting off the next exit and rerouting back in the right direction, this ass wipe started backing up in the breakdown lane, ready to cut across exit traffic to get back on the highway. Why do people do this? Is there really something you have to get to so quickly that you need to risk the lives of yourself, your family and everyone else on the highway to get there?
7
Ever have a week where you feel like you either need a hug or 10 kamikaze shots lined up on a bar?
8
On that same note, there are days when I'm not sure I have the right amount of expletives in my vocabulary to cover the stupidity with which I am dealing.
9
It's almost time to send the kids to camp. If I were to start my own camp, I would call it Camp Cope. It could be a retreat for all ages. We would have break out sessions where I would take you aside and slap you silly until you stopped all your bitching and realized how great you actually have it.
10
It is bad to act without thinking, but I think it is worse to think without acting.
June is Pride month, and I have to give a shout out to those who are brave enough to come out, as well as those who celebrate uniqueness and love in all ways. I take great pride in providing you with yummy drink recipes, so here's another for you to try!
Taste the Rainbow
댓글