It's Groundhog Day! Truly hoping this will inspire you to read this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl over and over and over again.
1
As if I needed another reason to buy Girl Scot cookies. Did you know that if you draw a bath and grab a box of your favorite tasty wafers from the girls in green, you can enjoy them as they FLOAT in the water without sinking? Apparently, the plastic inner container works as a snack delivery boat, which pairs nicely with a book and a glass (ok, bottle) of wine. Cheers!
2
The other day, while I was listening to 80s tunes through my Alexa, my husband walked in the room, heard the song "Africa" by Toto playing and, unprompted, said "Alexa, skip." That there is true love, people.
3
My friend, Chris, told me about the new talking scale that he bought. It verbally lets you know how much you weigh when you step on it. Which was great until he actually did step on it, and in a suffocating tone, the scale just said, "Get off. GET THE FUCK OFF!"
4
My daughter, sister and I were discussing the safe words we created long ago to help identify when we were in serious trouble and needed rescuing (get your minds out of the gutter, sexual deviants). This led to some off-the-subject discussions that made us laugh. What did not make us laugh though was thinking about coming up with such a word with/for your elderly parents, but they forget what it means. So you're frantically typing "apple" and using emojis for it before you're kidnapped in a white van, and your aged mom is like, "oh, Gina must be in New York today. Ah, New York City! What a wonderful town."
5
A headline popped up in my newsfeed that read, "Woman charged with killing boyfriend, because he kept peeing in her bed." I sincerely hope this lady had a jury of female peers, because all I could think of was, "good for you, girl!" I'd have offed him too. I cleaned up baby piss for years, I'll probably have to clean up my parent's piss later, and then there's the animals. So, I certainly do not need someone who hasn't even put a ring on it piddling all over my mattress!
6
Another tidbit came up under the title of "Men's Health," causing me to seriously question a) if anyone is actually proofreading these article teasers, and b) do you know the difference between men and women? Here's was what it said - "'Love Island' star tried to breastfeed herself." If there is some fetish group out there for this kind of shit, I'm done with humanity.
7
Let's talk about Dollar General. I went to the crappiest little one of these stores, bought about 10 items and ended up spending $89. So, I guess the name means, in general, nothing there actually costs one dollar.
8
Imagine if your political party was decided by your hand preference and not personal preference. Would definitely put a new spin on right and left wings, no?
9
Whoever came up with the word "prolly" to replace "probably" was an absolute idiot. Complete and total imbecile.
10
I was so excited to get an unexpected refund check in the mail. Until the next thing I opened was an unexpected bill. #fml
It's bad enough that I have to watch the Eagles play Kansas City in the Super Bowl. But this week, Tom Brady told us he was retiring from football - again. We don't care, Tom. Go bang your new blonde and leave us alone. You, my friends, can bang out a good evening by exploring the options in this titillating article.
Tagalong with me
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