This week, my husband and I will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. I decided to do some research on the secret to a long and happy marriage. Of course, the stuff I found online was straight out of couples counseling or a drug-induced hallucination. So, this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl will take some of these helpful hints and turn them into truths!!!
1
One of the first things that the "experts" put on their list - Understand Compromise. The way I understand this is that I express what I want to happen. If my husband wants to ever think about having sex again, he will make that happen my way. After all, the saying is "Happy Wife, Happy Life."
2
Another tip - Make your partner feel wanted/Let your partner know you are thinking about them during the day. I think I do this quite well. I send plenty of texts throughout the day, reminding my husband of all the things I wanted done but he forgot to do. I, however, have not forgotten about any of it. So, it's best these things get done for the same reasons as the above.
3
Next - Imagine what your life would really be like without them. Seriously? Do you not think after 28 years together (24 married), the majority of people in relationships don't do this daily, but in a I-could-be-living-on-a-tropical-island-with-a-millionaire kinda way? Or even better, I could be on that island alone with an unlimited supply of cocktails and no interruptions.
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This one I liked - Don't be afraid to give each other space. YES! Honey, please don't be afraid to buy me my own house, then you buy your own house, and we only need to visit each other when we "need" something. Is that enough "space?"
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And then - Keep saying "yes" to new experiences. Done! "Yes," I will go away to an all-expense-paid vacation with my girlfriends. Thank you, dear! You are THE BEST!!
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Another great one - Keep your spouse guessing. These Jimmy Choos - you'll never "guess" how cheap these were on sale! Sweetie, "guess" where you're taking me for our 25th anniversary! Honey, you'll never "guess" how long my parents are coming to visit!
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Have a daily mealtime check in - So, here's how mine goes - "Have you eaten? No? OK, here are the numbers to the best restaurants that deliver. Bon appetite!"
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Helpful in all communications is the advice to speak using "I" statements when you argue. Let's make this simple. "I" am right. "You" are wrong. Any questions? See example Number 1.
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Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Simple, right? Nope. Because that rarely ever happens. Instead of words, learn to listen to tones. If I say, "I don't need anything for Mother's Day," while my voice is high-pitched and my smile looks like it came straight out of The Barbie Movie, I'm not being serious. And it's actually a test to see if you can see that I'm not being serious. Read the room, people. Read. The. Room.
10
End the night on a positive note. While this advice seems so simple, it isn't. Because I guarantee this positivity is defined differently for each member of the couple. And while both positive things begin with "s" (meaning sleep and the other thing), you might want to take my advice on all of the above if you ever hope to get your "happy ending."
My husband is actually a saint for letting me write stuff like this and still wanting to be married to me. But in all honesty, I think wedding anniversaries should be at the top of the celebration list. You get a birthday every year until you don't. Marriage, however, takes more work than any job.
Love to drink
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