Here in the Northeast, we have experienced Spring, Summer and Winter this week, and it ain't even over yet! Guess Mother Nature came off her meds again (just in time for all those Mother's Day plants to die). I upped my dosage of something to give you this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I miss having a landline to slam down when people piss me off.
2
Classic line from a family discussion - "I meant to say, 'I love you,' but it came out as 'Go fuck yourself.'"
3
Another one-liner worth noting - I bring home meatballs, and none of us immediately devours them as we usually do. After letting them sit there a few minutes, my daughter starts chowing down and says, "What? They're irresista-ball!"
4
Manure. Who decided to try spreading shit around to make things grow? Was it the fragrant aroma that sparked the interest? Or was someone watching a cow take a dump and thought, "wow, there are lots of cows in the world. And they poop a lot. We should capitalize on that shit!"
5
Did you ever fart so hard in your car that you are sure you ripped a hole in your seat?
6
Driving around, it often occurs to me that certain colors should not be used for a house. Like electric blue. It's bad enough to use that hideous color as an accent. But to paint the whole damn house that color? You are just screaming for your neighbors to tie you up for a public lashing.
7
Every day, I am tired. Rarely do I feel completely rested. You know what makes that so much better? When people TELL you how tired you look. Like, thanks, because I wasn't feeling bad enough about myself already.
8
When I do actually feel semi-good about myself, that changes quickly when I go to a bar, and I basically need to lift my shirt up to get the bartender's attention. I mean, WTF? I have money, I want to drink (lots), so what do I need to do to get you to notice me?
9
How do I have this many articles of clothing in my closet, yet I can't find one single thing to wear?
10
Lastly, how is it that I can shave my legs, repeating the motion numerous times over the same spots, yet I still have a strip of missed hairs that were undetectable in the shower, but so glaringly evident after I walk out in my short, leg-exposing skirt?
I'm burning the midnight oil just to get through this week. Some of these recipes though intrigued my interest enough to make a cocktail shopping list that I'll force myself to fulfill tonight! Join me?
It's a Spring thing!
from 18 Best Spring Cocktails - Easy and Fresh Drink Recipes for Spring 2022 (townandcountrymag.com)
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