Two more days of Prime shopping under our belts, but the real bargain this week is the free set of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl being delivered here.
1
Putting your phone on speaker should be reserved for when you are alone or at least when all parties involved agree to be part of the call. Nothing worse than being assaulted with a phone in your face, saying, "here say 'Hi!' to (fill in the name of any person to whom you REALLY don't want to talk)!"
2
Why do we say, "I'll be there in a second?" Is that even possible?
3
Question for online job site developers - if I can upload my resume, why do I then have to go through and itemize everything I've done since birth in the application? #applitrack
4
Did you ever notice that a zipper hoodie cannot lay flat? There's always that bump that forms. And if you're a man, sitting in a certain position, and the bump jumps up, this can get somewhat embarrassing.
5
Why do they make pull-off seals that don't pull off? Like the pull tabs on creamer containers? I haven't even had my coffee, and you're giving me this crappy pull tab where the plastic comes off, then I have to get a knife to break through it, and only the inside portion gets removed, leaving this papery crap around the lip. It's enough to put my OCD into overdrive - and I'm holding a knife. Look out.
6
I've seen this a lot lately on social media group pages - people asking "What's the best...?" Why would you phrase it that way? First of all, who is the judge of this best contest? Do you even know the people to whom you are asking this question? They could be nuts, or a polar opposite of you. Why would you rely on their opinion to be any more than a suggestion? Ding dong, YOU decide which is best for you. #rephrase
7
I watch way too many installments of The Real Housewives franchise. The other night I finally came up with my tagline for when they decide to do a Real Housewives of The Burys. I'm all spanxed up in my long, navy blue ballgown, I whip my golden extensions around my face and declare, "I'm pretty, witty and I have big titties!"
8
Along those same lines, my sister and I were lamenting about the fact that it's been years since we have actually been able to do the limbo at a formal event. Even if I could still bend it like Beckham, I have these two giant mounds that would knock the stick right off the poles. So, I now have my idea for Shark Tank - a limbo stick with boob cut outs. Genius, right? I mean, why should the skinny bitches have all the fun? We could call it a Bimbo Stick. Seems appropriate.
9
I used to think that it was having children that kept me broke all the time. Now I know it's really just because of Amazon.
10
If you know nothing about me, you at least know that I am a nice person. So, if I am not being nice to you, you should look deep and hard at yourself and figure out what's wrong with you.
My prime focus this week has been to get in as much time drinking with my friends as possible. I am meeting and exceeding my objective, much to the dismay of my liver. Gin is a fan fave of the summer, so my prime directive for you is to check out this yummy recipe!
Prime Directive - Drink up!
from Liquor.com I Prime Directive Cocktail Recipe
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