This morning, I passed a lady standing outside, holding up a random sign that said “We Deserve Better.” No clue what she was referring to, but I’m hoping this dose of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is EXACTLY what you deserve.
1
Before you make your announcement that you’re departing social media, please keep two things in mind – a) no you’re not and b) no one gives a shit anyway.
2
Why do UGGs make my feet drag on the ground like I have lead bricks in them? Hopefully, I’m at least dusting the floors or something.
3
I don’t care how madly in love you are, if there are only two of you being seated, and you’re seated in a booth, sitting on the same side of the booth is creepy weird. #overkill
4
Why do people bring smelly food into work and then proceed to ask if it’s OK to heat it up in the microwave? No, it’s not OK. Just bring in lettuce. Lettuce doesn’t smell bad or make people think someone just lost their ass in the bathroom, all because you had to eat your broccoli today.
5
You know what’s super-duper annoying? When someone cancels plans that you especially did not want to go to in the first place, but you’re already completely ready. #tableforone
6
What is the point of ketchup packets? I mean, they produce enough product to cover about one fry. So, if that’s your plan, you might as well just hand over the entire SYSCO box. And how do you even spell this condiment? Ketchup, Katsup, Catsup?
7
I am no English major, but I am fairly certain I understand the use of an infinitive. Your clothes don’t need washed. They need TO BE washed!! And to my Midwestern friends, there is no “r” in “washed.”
8
I am at the stage of life where I need the AC blasting on me constantly, especially as soon as I get in the car. If you’d like to keep my road rage at bay, do not complain. Simply keeping a parka and heavy blanket on hand at all times is best for you. Trust me.
9
I’m, like, literally sick of the literal overuse of the word “literally.”
10
Contrary to all hope, repeatedly pressing the elevator button will not make it arrive any more quickly.
The Big Ten is going to play football, but here in CT, we are not. And the Beefalo is still on the loose. However, Pepe’s Pizza has again been named the #1 pizza in the nation, so all is semi-right in the world, I guess.
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