To mask or not to mask? That is the question. I'm just here spreading the love in this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I went to the beach with my friend and our daughters. Of course, the topic of my breasts comes up, because when are they more amplified than in a bathing suit? So this leads to a discussion on how weird it is that our jugs make milk. And then we thought about if our boobs could make chocolate milk. The girls decided they'd find a way to suck on their own teets daily if that could happen.
2
Speaking of the beach, why do I insist on bringing so many snacks to the beach? Every bag gets opened, barely any of it gets eaten, and then there is sand in everything, so I can't even bring it back home. Do you know how annoying it is to bite into a sandy piece of watermelon? Or crunch on a Dorito and realize the crunch is not from the chip?
3
Let's stick to food here for a little while. Another thing that drives me nuts - broken taco shells. Can't they finally package those fuckers so that you don't crush the top two or three when you try to ply open the super-tight shrink wrap? I mean, what are you supposed to do with broken taco shells?
4
Another thing - soggy takeout fries. I don't want to eat at your restaurant. I want to take my crispy fries home and chow down on them on the couch. Why can't restauranteurs ban together and create a packaging that will allow this? No one wants no limp fries.
5
How is it that whenever you eat popcorn, the transparent yellow-ish brown shell of a kernel always manages to creep in between the gum and the farthest tooth in the back of your mouth? It's hard enough to figure out which tooth it's actually stuck in, let alone the fact that you appear to be doing oral surgery on yourself in order to get this thing free. I swear dental hygienists must find ten-year-old remains of popcorn in people's teeth, all the time.
6
I get easily overwhelmed by restaurant menus that have too many choices. So when I have taken the time to read through and choose the item I want, please do not come back to my table three minutes later and tell me you're out of what I just selected. Really? You didn't know this just a second ago when I put in my order? Surely someone is monitoring the food in the kitchen and can give the wait staff a heads up, right? #fml
7
It's August. Barely. Why is there Halloween candy on the shelves?
8
Mosquito bites are the payback we all get for doing anything wrong - ever. Think of them as karma come to life.
9
I feel like Alanis Morissette should have included this in her "Ironic" song - you get a substantial, unexpected sum of money. No sooner than it's in the bank, something equally substantial and expensive breaks. Some might say this is fortune. I call it the obnoxiously cruel lack of luck that is my life.
10
Why, oh why, can't my brain just allow my body to wait for the alarm to wake it up?
I bet Delta Airlines is regretting their name at this point in world history. The only variants I'd like to explore at this time are the variations of cocktails available to me. I found this article very interesting, and I thought you might too.
Keepin' it spirited
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