With Pride Month in full force, I decided to do a bi-literary post for this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl. Meaning, I wrote half of the entries, and my friends wrote the other half. Hope you enjoy both sides of the proverbial coin.
1
My friend, Bree M, asked me some poignant questions a while back. The first was - why do we say "heads up!" when we really mean to have people put their heads down? And she also wondered, why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
2
How many times do I use "LOL" when I am sending messages? It's uncountable. Apparently, I find everything hilarious. It's also, most likely, pretty annoying for my friends. Like, "why is Gina always laughing about things? Half this shit is not even funny!" I think "LOL" for me is like a nervous, girlie smile or giggle. Or maybe I really am that happy?! So sue me.
3
Thinking back to winter, my friend, Jennifer A, wants to know why, when school gets called off because of the weather, does the office staff get called in to report to school by 10:00am? Isn't part of the perks of working in a school getting days off for inclement weather? Doesn't everyone deserve a snow day, dammit? #snowdaysforall
4
Traveling is a passion for my friend Michelle S. But there are a couple of things about travel that irritate her. The first is when you pay a ton of money to stay at a beautiful Bed 'n Breakfast. The walls are paper thin, and there's always that one person who doesn't know how to silence their phones. Then all you hear, all night long, is a "ping!" every time a text or email comes through! We're trying to RELAX here, people. Do Not Disturb extends to electronics! She also hates hotel shower caps. She wonders whose head is the test dummy for these things? An infant? If you make a shower cap, make sure it fits over the head AND hair we're trying to protect here. Sheesh!
5
Restaurant signs can be a nuisance for some. Just ask my friend, Carol D. She hates signs in restaurants that only list the specials. What if you don't like those? Where can you find the other stuff? And please don't just write a fluffy little message on the board! Who cares? I'm hangry! Oh, and don't piss her off more by misspelling whatever you write on there! If you're not going to spellcheck, why write anything at all?
6
I absolutely love (feel the sarcasm here), when I post something on Facebook Marketplace, someone agrees to buy it, I go to meet them, and they don't show up. So I send a message saying, "I'm here, waiting for you to buy this thing from me," and they send a message back saying, "Sorry. I'm not interested anymore. I thought I told you." Well, bitch, you didn't. And now I am still stuck with this thing I don't want, but I'm also out a bunch of time and gas money. Really, thanks so much.
7
Next gripe is from my friend, Colleen S. She thinks it's a waste of time to post signs in the bathroom that say things like, "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work." Or, "Please Wash Your Hands." Um, this is not an optional thing of which you should need to be reminded! Colleen's sign would read, "Wash Your FUCKING Hands!" That should get the point across, right?
8
My life would be infinitely easier if I could just mark a text as unread on my iPhone. End of story.
9
My hubby has a pet peeve (or two). This one should resonate with us all. He hates it when you go to grab a tissue out of the tissue box, and it doesn't kick up the next tissue. However, you need another tissue. So, you think, "no problem. I'll simply reach in and grab another one." But, nooooooo. The next tissue is too scared to perk up, and it doesn't leave any edges to grab. Then you end up sticking your hand in, ripping the box top, pulling up an entire glob of them, but you only need one, so the rest stay on top of the distorted box like a pile of dung. Who knew you could get so pissed off trying to get snot out of your nostrils!?!
10
Speaking of marriage, this is the best line I've read in a book in a long time - "Every marriage of 20 or more years has motives for murder. Every police officer and hair dresser know that!"
The warm weather is rejuvenating me. I take pride in my ability to share great drinks with you, so try this one out and show your rainbow of support while having fun in the sun!
Taste the Rainbow
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