Happy Thursday! Must be time for some Deep Thoughts with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
When you ask me, “How are you,” or “How’s it going,” do you really care? Are you prepared for my truth? If not, rephrase your superficial greeting and move along.
2
Speaking of greetings, what is the most appropriate way to greet people now? I mean, a slip of that elbow bump, and you’re on the fast track to a sexual harassment lawsuit, right?
3
If my brain can handle a card catalog of information at any given moment, why can’t my husband’s brain remember the ONE thing I’ve asked, written down and taped to his forehead?
4
On that note, have you ever sent your husband to the grocery store to buy something? Yeah, that’s fun. I might as well just lose an hour of my day between the texts and then escalated phone calls from the store when he can’t find any of it.
5
So the Back-to-School supplies are out in stores. Why? They’d be better off marketing the “Back-to-Drinking-Round-the-Clock” supplies, because you know the old saying about the best laid plans…
6
I would like to think of a current, popular sport, add alcohol to it, and market it as the next big thing. You can even cater the type of alcohol, like “Rumball” or “Basebourbon” or “Vokdavolley.” Maybe if you’re ingesting alcohol while playing, it might even help ward off The ‘Rona?
7
You know that annoying feeling when you write something in a card that you think is really witty, but the person reading it reads it flat and misses the joke? Or they can’t pronounce the words and the funny gets lost in the delivery? I hate that.
8
Ever stand in the parking lot after you’ve emptied your cart into your car and the distance between the closest cart return is equidistant to the front of the store, so you start to just leave the cart in between the meeting of two parking spaces, but someone walks by, makes you feel self-conscious about it, and you end up just annoyedly walking it to the front of the store?
9
Thanks to COVID, if you can’t order online, you’re waiting in a long line to get whatever you want. I know not all stores/restaurants are good about posting menus so you can see what’s available. But damn, if you’re waiting in line for 10+ minutes, can you at least pull up the menu on your phone and have a remote inkling of an idea of what you want to order BEFORE you get to the counter/window?
10
If you start off a sentence or post with, “I’m not trying to brag, but…” you ARE.
I have been lucky enough to find a surplus of the alcohol I enjoy and stock up this week. Hoping it helps me to pretend this pandemic is over, like so many other people in the US - JK!
Stay safe. Stay masked.
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