Ellen and Liz Cheney are cancelled, but the Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl just keep on comin'! Admittedly, I was too busy to think this week. Then, as I listened to the radio station at work, I formed some thoughts that turned into the following - Songs that I DESPISE!! (enjoy the links, so you can be tortured too!)
1
Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke - This song is ew. Just ew. How did the dad we loved so much on "Growing Pains" produce such as smarmy lothario? I'm still not sure how music producers even let this get made and/or how Robin Thicke has not been sued by someone for the lyrics alone.
2
Africa by Toto - When this song comes on the radio, I start convulsing. Why does anyone care about the rains in Africa? What is this song even about? And then it's stuck with me all. day. long. #makeitstop
3
What's New Pussycat by Tom Jones - This song sucks so bad that John Mulaney did a whole comedy skit about it. Nothing I could say would do this more justice than him, so click on it and crack up.
4
Mmmbop by Hanson - How did these dorks not get assassinated while touring with this song? Seriously. They can't have any friends.
5
Wonderwall by Oasis - First, you can't sing. Second, you're never going to be the Beatles, so get your own style. Do you want to know where I was when you were getting high? Drinking a bottle of Jack in a corner, trying to stop my ears from bleeding.
6
You're Beautiful by James Blunt - Even if I were beautiful, I would be ugly by the time this song was over, because I would be clawing my face off to make it stop playing. Dude, get over her already! Lots of fish in the sea. #desperate #stalker
7
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf OR American Pie by Don McLean - Now, even the best of songs has its time limit. So, I can only guess that the radio stations play these two songs every day, because a) someone needs to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes on his/her break or b) someone is severely constipated and needs to crank it out. The only thing worse than sitting through the original version of these songs is when someone requests them during karaoke night. If and when that happens, just throw money down on the table and leave. No one, I mean no one, has the talent or stamina to make this worthwhile.
8
7 Years by Lukas Graham - This just feels like millennials crying out for attention. Who wants to listen to a song about YEARS of regret. Hell, I get enough of that in my own head. Music should be entertaining, not soul-sucking and guilt-inducing. #moveon
9
Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65 - Why? The artists look like a skit about gay hairdressers from SNL. The song is about the same quality. If this song is about depression, why do they play it in clubs? This song GIVES me depression. #changethestation
10
Say Something I'm Giving Up by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera - When I think of what depression and anxiety are embodied in music, this is the song that comes to mind. I'm giving up on radio, and sticking to my own playlists!
* BONUS * Just for ha has, the Kid's edition includes Baby Shark, Ants Go Marching and I Love You, You Love Me - #justshootme
Blame it on the Goose, PMS or the fact that they keep extending people's unemployment benefits, so I have no one to hire for actual work. Whatever it is, I'm bitter. Maybe I'll add some bitters to my next drink. Yum.
Kinder Cocktails
Funny as hell, but half the songs I don't even know, and don't want to now.
This is hilarious!!! 😂