My isolation is making me more crass and inappropriate than usual. Be forewarned – this edition of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is not for the easily-offended or mild-mannered. Sorry, not sorry.
1
I can now stare at walls for 10-15 minutes and not form a single thought in my head.
2
I am so “one” with my phone, that all I have to do is THINK of a consumer product, and ads start magically appearing for that product in my feed. #wtf
3
Outside is my safe place. My only place to hope for some normalcy. So now that these MFing Murder Hornets are moving in, I’mma gonna open up a GIGANTIC can of whoop ass on them if they even dare come to my ‘hood.
4
There’s a meme about this, but I don’t care. I have ordered so much shit online that I can’t even remember what I’m waiting for anymore.
5
While so many people have posted positives about this closure, let’s face it friends, the end of the world must be near when we’ve been reduced to watching reruns of The Bachelor, and we’re feeling an emotional connection with Big Ed from 90-Day Fiancé.
6
Anyone know of a patent for a face mask with a legit drinking hole? No? Great, I’m on it!
7
Speaking of drinking, it’s noble to see all of these posts with people taping a tea bag string in a cup filled with wine. Truly it is. But you’re talking to the OG of overindulgence here. I perfected that shit a LONG time ago. You know my favorite saying – “No one really knows what’s in the sippy cup!”
8
Thank you to this week for giving us legit reasons to drink – Star Wars Day, Cinco de Mayo, Nurse’s Appreciation Day, Mother’s Day – oh, and now everyone can drink for Teacher Appreciation Day (though I like to think of it as judgement-free Teacher Appreciation Week!)
9
The porn industry must be having a field day with all of this pandemonium. Coming soon to an XXX streaming site near you: “Coronahhhhhhh!,” “Outbreak My Desires,” “Social Dickstancing,” “Vag-iris”and more…
10
And for a happy ending (pun intended), you know some of your neighbors are using these masks and gloves as part of their new role plays, right?
Educators, mothers, nurses and anyone who resembles either, I raise my glass to you!
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