My Pourcast

Good morning! I thought it might be time to get back to talking about what started this whole blog - the weather! It's been ages since we've had a good snowstorm in CT. All eyes are on Monday night into Tuesday for a good one! That being said, I want you to brush up on your weather glossary, so you can better understand where I'm coming from in my posts.

Pour cast - The Boozy Weathergirl’s drinking forecasts

Blizzard - storms that turn a snow day into a snow week, causing the need for anxiety meds to rise in the US and Canada

Cancellation - unscheduling of a planned activity OR the reason you drink at 7am as you watch your dreams of an actual vacation slip away, because you’ve used up all your flex and vacation time on winter weather days

Charge - what you should be doing to your electronics OR what you’re doing on retail Web sites while you cower in a dark corner, trying to avoid your kids on snow days

Connecticold - Anyone who has lived in the Northeast gets this

Delay - a pause OR the thing that screws up your entire morning as you beg neighbors to take the kids for just an hour and/or blatantly lie to your boss, claiming this is the only time you’ll need time off for such a thing

El Niño/La Nina - cute little Hispanic children OR the furies of weather Hell that will descend upon us at any moment

Frozen Pipes - what happens when pipes ice over OR what happens when you drink your margarita too quickly

Fuzzy socks - clothing items that warm your feet OR the coating that forms on your teeth after days of not caring about hygiene while being held captive in your house by the weather

Homework - classroom reinforcements assigned by teachers OR the indentured servitude your children enter into in order to win back their electronics after hours of pissing you off on snow days

Ice - slippery stuff that keeps cars from driving straight OR things to keep drinks cold and humans from driving straight

Jeep - what the upper middle class militia purchase so they can tell everyone how unaffected they are by driving in snow

Plowed - what streets are after it snows OR what The Boozy Weather girl’s friends are while it’s snowing

Robocall - what should be a brief, five-second message sent by your school district to announce a weather-related delay or cancellation, but rather turns into a five-minute explanation over-justifying a Superintendent’s insecurities about his/her decision 

Screen Time - normal, daily uses of electronics, traditionally limited to two hours, which increases to 26 hours during snow days

Salt - material you buy to make sure no one slips on their a** on your front doorstep and sues you OR something you use on the rim of their glass to make them tipsy enough to forget the pain

Shoveling - what you do to snow after it falls OR what you do with comfort food as you try to block out your children’s annoying voices

Snowtini - really any martini enjoyed while it’s snowing

Snow-day activities - really annoying, complicated projects, usually involving crafting, that the Pinteresty moms post on Facebook to make the rest of us jealous of their perfect, Stepford lives

Snow-day roulette - when teachers go out drinking the night before a predicted snow day and wait to see if the day gets called off the night before

Superintendent - a town’s best friend or worst enemy, based on his/her inclement weather calls

Thumping - a hard, fast snow OR pounding of glasses or cups on any table during a snow-day drinking game

Thunder snow - something weathermen blow their load over announcing

Town parent pages on FB - a platform to share questions and answers about local schools and activities OR an easy way for people to show their self-inflated importance, prejudices and narrow views, usually documented by asinine questions that can easily be answered on school/town Web sites or 12-paragraph rants about the injustice of weather-related delays/cancellations

Whining - what children do within seconds of learning they have the day off due to inclement weather

Wine-ing - what smart parents do to overcome the last definition

Wintry Mix - combination of sleet and snow OR a combination of liquor and juice, tonic or seltzer

Winter - same damn thing that happens every year, yet seems to surprise many, despite multiple warnings

My kinda snowflake

from Snowflake Martini - Cooking with Curls

Sipping in anticipation- Your Boozy Weathergirl