This is Us has ended. So has Depp v. Heard. Franky, I'm just glad you've "heard" about Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl and are stopping by for a read.
1
There are parents here in CT who were warned to stop drinking at youth soccer games or they would be banned from the games. Upon reading this, I put my house on the market and started looking in that district. #soulmates
2
Don't you feel bad when friends post before and after renovation pictures, but you can't tell which is which? #d'oh
3
I don't use cash much, and this suits me well. Until I get to the gas pump. I swear I am following the picture which tells me the correct way to put in my credit card. And I do that. And the reader tells me I'm wrong. So I rotate it once - still wrong. Rotate again- still wrong! W.T.F?!? I'm sure people get a kick out of watching my face turn red as I start yelling obscenities at the pump!!!
4
You should be able to renew your license after a few years to coincide with your level of expertise. Meaning, if you can drive like Mario Andretti and do it well, you should be able to drive faster than other people and not be dinged for it. On the other hand, if you're a slow driver, they should create grandma street for you and get you out of my way.
5
I also watched the end of Grace & Frankie last week. Two absolutely brilliant vocab terms that they introduced to me - Birkensocks (the socks you wear with Birkenstocks) and Eatlet (a depressed person's outlet through eating). I expect you to use both this week.
6
Does anyone actually use the mustard sauce packets that you get with Chinese takeout? I mean, soy and duck, of course. But when was the last time anyone opened those mustard packets?
7
Stores that cater to teens - I have a suggestion for you. Install some seats for the tired-ass moms that have to follow their kids into these stores and wait HOURS for them to finish critiquing themselves while taking selfies in dressing rooms. My patience level ends within five minutes, and if I'm standing, there's no way I'm staying long enough to buy anything. #geriatricmarketing101
8
Why is it that when my kid needs something, she won't STFU until I get it or do it, but if I need something, it's like I just asked her to eat dog poop AND it takes hours, even days, before this thing gets done?
9
Do you ever have months that seem like they didn't actually happen? Yeah, that was May for me.
10
Why when you share an opinion about someone does someone else always say, "don't judge?" Screw that. They shouldn't give me a reason TO judge them then. Like Bobby Brown says, it's my prerogative!
Since I mentioned so much TV in this post, I also read that Mama June lost custody of Honey Boo Boo, who is now 16. My question to lawmakers - what the hell took you so long? Of course, my child's lack of common sense has me questioning my abilities as a parent daily as well. So, for those times when you just want to wring someone's neck, try this recipe instead.
The Art of Choke
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