Christmas is over - wahhh! But New Year's Eve is still upon us - yay? This week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl will touch upon some of the less savory deets of the new year's beginning. Here goes...
1
There is no such thing as normal New Year's Eve cuisine. Like, everyone has the expected dish to bring to Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas brunch or Hannukah get-togethers. But, what the fuck do you bring for NYE? It could be ANYTHING! And for someone who is not a particularly good cook, like me, this is extremely anxiety-inducing!!
2
Noise makers. Seriously, what asshole came up with things that you can blow loudly into someone's ear? Like my headache won't be bad enough from the copious amounts of liquor I drank the night before. Geez.
3
From the thought above, your pets hate NYE, and they can mostly not be included in the festivities, because they are scared shitless. Which sucks, because pets are members of the family too.
4
The weather is completely unpredictable. Here in the Northeast, it is cold AF. No one even wants to look outside, let alone dress like a trampy whore, and venture out into the night. PJs - that should be the NYE attire. Always.
5
Crowds. Everywhere. People, get out of my way, because 10 to 1, I'm about to vomit (depending on the time of night, of course - but I can act it out perfectly to get you to move).
6
The pressure to kiss someone at midnight is daunting. If you have a partner, that sloppy drunk-ass smooch is such a turn on after you've forced yourself to stay up two hours past your bedtime - not! Even worse, if you don't have that special someone, you're staring at the ceiling in a corner, or better yet, locked in a bathroom stall, standing on the seat, trying to make sure that no one knows how sad and lonely you really are.
7
Worse than the kissing pressure is the MFing resolution pressure! I'm pretty sure the noisemaker creator slept with the inventor of sequined dresses to create the sadistic child who asked the world to set themselves up for failure the first day of every new year.
8
If you have kids who cannot yet drive, it's not the ideal night for being a chauffeur. And forget about finding a babysitter. If you get a good one, get that fucker on retainer for at least five years. Shower him/her/them with presents. You might have to start a new savings account for the evening alone, but it's worth it to wake up with a hangover and kids jumping on you the next morning, right?
9
Regretting the drunken posts and selfies. Like whoa, girl. You felt like Marilyn Monroe, but that mascara is more like Marilyn Manson. And the sipping sadness as you come down off your alcohol high leads to many an inappropriate online confession that cannot be deleted after it's been seen. #turnyourphoneoffafter10
10
Trying to come up with an excuse to bow out of next year's festivities, knowing that nothing you say will work, and you'll be living the Groundhog Day of year-end soirees for the rest of your natural existence.
Whatever you are doing this Saturday night, please be safe. Don't pressure yourself to do anything but be comfortable and content. And if you want a fantastic recipe for a signature drink, here are some options for every pallet!
Cocktails are always in style
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