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Writer's pictureThe Boozy Weathergirl

Not gonna happen

Sometimes you just run out of time. And you don't have a plan to be all witty and shit. So, this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is about the minimal amount I could ever put into one of these posts, and it shows. Here are 10 reasons why it ain't gonna happen.

 

1

When pigs fly - This could literally have been any fat animal. Why pigs? They are gods, because they give us bacon. Leave them alone.

2

When hell freezes over - Would it be bad if there was no more hell? Ask a Catholic!

3

Fat chance - I'm fat. I still have a chance. It's not out of the question. Go on with your day.

4

Don't hold your breath - If you're dumb enough to overthink this one, actually, please do hold your breath. And just be done with it.


5

Not in a million years - How would you know? No one has ever lived a million years, so you can't claim this to be true or untrue. Shut up.


6

Over my dead body - I'm dead. What do I care of something happens?


7

When the cows come home - Why don't they come home? I'm pretty sure I worked on a dude ranch after college, and we had wranglers who made the cows come home. So, it happens. Get over it.

8

When the stars fall from the sky - Don't we wish on falling stars? I want them to fall. Just stop this.


9

Never again - Like how many times have I said this? It's going to happen again. You can't fight your nature. Trust me.


10

When Gina stops drinking - Yeah, I made this up to emphasize the point. AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.


 

The week after Spring Break sucks. Why is everyone still sick? I'm over it. Hope to be in a better mood next week. Until then, I do love that something called BarGPT exists. And it has concocted a martini recipe. This is my kinda plagiarism!!


Mission possible?



Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl






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