While Adam Levine unwittingly became the poster child for polygamy this week, my Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl continues to have the singular purpose of making you shake your head, muttering, "did she really just say that?"
1
The first two entries this week come from books I've read recently. A character said, "Dividing people into good and evil is just lazy." Honestly, I could not agree more. I know for a fact that I have several layers of both, and you have to be pretty "special" to see the extreme on either side.
2
The next character line sort of summed up why social media is a horrible thing - "When you think that you don't have your shit together, did you ever think that your shit just looks different than everyone else's?" I mean, seriously, who DOES have their shit together? If you can't look at Fakebook and distinguish the real from the desperately-trying-to-impress, perhaps you should step away for a bit. No one's life is void of any adversity. I promise you.
3
Why do they still make shoes that tie? If you put shoes with strings next to slip-ons, I am always going to choose the ones that slip on. Maybe it's my time of life, but bending over for long periods of time makes me light headed, and trying to lift my legs up is a chore. Slide the foot in, and I'm out the door. Easy peasy!
4
If you are named Bud and you become a pot farmer, aren't you just fulfilling a prophecy?
5
Putting on stretchy jeans after they first come out of the dryer is kinda like trying to stuff sausage back into its casing.
6
My mother cracks me up sometimes. The other day, she told me that my sister texted her to say she'd be stopping by to drop off my father's tamper (a tool). No sooner did she read this, then she got an email with the subject line "Erectile Blood Flow." I don't know what algorithm this was following, but I'm pretty sure if there was a problem with blood flowing to your penis, slamming a tamp down on it is not going to be the solution.
7
Whenever I wash my face in the sink, I think about the false advertising of the facial skin care companies. Never do I look refreshed after splashing soap and water on my face. In fact, my skin looks blotchy and usually there is eye makeup dripping down, making me look like blonde Alice Cooper. Also, when you throw water at yourself, it doesn't just hit your face, it gets all over your clothes, the mirror, the counter, the floor. #justtakeashower
8
Normally, I don't like establishments where they blast music so loudly that you're screaming to communicate at your own table. However, I truly appreciate those blaring sounds when they extend to the shared bathroom. Normally, I have an issue with downloading a brownload in public (if you know what I mean). But recently I visited a brewery that played music so loud in the ladies room, I could have let a nuclear explosion out of my butthole, and no one would have noticed. Strangely, I took comfort in knowing I could do my business without it being anyone else's business.
9
When someone sends you a snarky meme, is it protocol to respond with a meme? Is a one-word retort too basic? Or what about "ha.ha?" Is it worth your time to even respond? Why am I even thinking about this so much? #unopened
10
If a container label reads "Sealed For Your Protection," but I need to use a sharp knife to repeatedly stab and cut said seal, is it really?
Someone also told me this week about the #sleepychicken trend on Tik Tok. This sounds about as intelligent at eating Tide Pods. If you need drugs to drowse, at least make one of these nifty nightcaps and enjoy the taste, for Heaven's sake!
Nifty Nightcaps
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