Are we in, or are we out? That's what you have to ask every day when you wake up with school-aged kids now. But what's always "in" are my Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
The fact that we just celebrated Labor Day is kinda comical, considering the astronomical unemployment rate and all.
2
I am a gasper. It’s not something I do to annoy you. I can’t control it. So when you’re driving 100mph, and a car almost blindly pulls into our lane while I am in the passenger seat OR you drive 100mph and wait until the last possible second to put on the breaks, expect my hands to flail out and grab the safety bar AND a gasp. You’ve been warned.
3
Putting on a wet bathing suit after you’ve used the bathroom is a new form of torture. Like worse than trying to fit in your Spanx. Not sure if it’s the same for men, but I’m pretty sure that mesh ball hammock sewn into your suits causes some chafing.
4
If you’re drinking something through a straw, just remember, when your beverage is done, it’s done. No amount of after-beverage suckage is going to produce more for you to drink.
5
If you start by saying, “can I ask you a question,” you just did.
6
If you’re going to sit on your phone and continue to burst out in laughter, you better be ready to tell me/show me what’s so funny.
7
Ever been craving a certain food item, pick a time to drive a rather far distance to get that item, then when you get there, they’ve run out of that beloved item? #fuckingfuckfuck
8
I don’t know where you were raised, but I can assure you that in no culture anywhere is it ever OK to clip your finger or toe nails in public!
9
So, if I can’t find my keys/sunglasses/anything, your asking me “Where’s the last place you had it,” is not at all helping me.
10
When you apologize by saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” you’re not.
Corona might still be spreading, but at least we have found a cure for the virus known as Keeping Up with The Kardashians - cancellation (finally!).
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