Spring has sprung! I used to have winter fat, but now I have spring rolls. Hoping you are rolling on the floor laughing after this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
No matter what industry we're talking about, I don't get why people haven't figured this out yet - it is not effective to talk AT people. Literally goes in one ear and out the other. That, of course, assumes that you didn't put me to sleep. You want people to learn, get them DOING something!!
2
My sister and I walked by McDonald's, and there was an ambulance outside. Without missing a beat, she commented, "Not surprised,' and just kept going.
3
There are so many of my friend's children on Facebook now. A few have tried to "friend" me, but I generally do not accept these requests. Please tell them not to be offended. I just don't think they're ready for this jelly.
4
We're doing "The Biggest Loser" at work. I do not anticipate an ounce of loss at this week's weigh in. Or any week's weigh ins. I'm ready to declare myself the biggest WINNER and just move on.
5
Have you ever had the handles of all three toilets in your home malfunction in one week? I have. Seriously, what are the odds? Thank God my father is handy. I'm thinking I should go play Lotto or something...
6
If you go to the gym every day, and you are giving it your all, I am so proud of you. But isn't it a little humble braggy to include strategically placed selfies about it in a post? Who brings a camera to the gym? Isn't that like recording yourself in the bathroom?
7
I have been battling with a company's customer service center for a while on the phone. At the beginning of my third call to them, they asked if I wanted to participate in a short survey at the end of the call. I usually never say yes to this, but I was feeling all helpful and shit this day. The call was ok, and the guy seemed smarter than the other idiots I've talked to in the past, so I was ready to give a decent review. First question is asked, they tell me to pick a number on a SCALE from one to five. I choose the number three. The annoying AF operator then proceeds to tell me, not once, not twice, but THREE times in a row that I have chosen an invalid option. Huh? All I can say is thank God it wasn't a human on the line, because I would have incinerated them. I think you all know whether or not I'll be doing business with this company again in the future. #thanksfornothing
8
Did you ever stand in the checkout lane, enticed by the candle display, start sniffing and come across a scent that should have been labeled, "Smells like someone's ass?"
9
Someone asked me for my street name, so I said, "Cunty G." They said back, "they have a street named THAT in your neighborhood?" Oops. My bad.
10
I don't know why I found this so funny, but here goes - If a cop pulls over a U-Haul, did he just bust a move? #ifyouwantityougotit
People talk of a spring awakening. Nothing puts a little spring in my step like a newly found cocktail recipe. Everything about this one makes me smile. Hope it does the same for you :)
A spring in your step
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