Today it’s time to get back to the real reason you listen to me - my Pourcasts. For those who have only come to know me recently, I pride myself on being a good predictor of whether or not school will be in session during inclement weather days. My only qualifications for this are my feminine intuition, my ability to read qualified people’s forecasts and my love of sharing alcohol recipes with my peeps.
Here in the Northeast, we’re in for a week - snow slightly possible Monday and a shitload of snow more than likely for Wednesday into Thursday. What does this mean for you now? Get your ass out today and stock up! Yes, yes, I know you’re already on the verge of alcoholism thanks to virtual learning. But that won’t change this week. In fact, if you’re ill-prepared, it could get much, much worse.
This week is a test. Your test prep should include:
Gas for the snowblower. If you don’t have a snowblower, sock away some money to pay the hot, up-and-coming landscaper that needs a shoveling side gig.
Festivus maple syrup, butter, apple cider and dark rum. Trust me on this one.
Chips, cookies, donuts, candy and juice boxes (always a great substitute mixer).
Calming oils. Or vodka. You choose.
Four to six floor exercise mats, duck tape and a new lock for your closet door.
The real question this week is this - Are we still going to have snow days? My vote is for a “yes!” First of all, kids need a break. Second, parents need a break. And third, teachers most definitely need a break. Lastly, if God blesses you with all that ready-made chiller for your cocktails, it would certainly be a waste not to be able to take advantage of it!
I think tomorrow will most likely be a bust, and we’ll stay in school the full day. But I guess there’s a slight chance of an early dismissal. I also think we’ll escape an early dismissal on Wednesday, as of right now, but that could change. My gut is telling me that Thursday is going to be a doozy, and despite the anger it will cause our Superintendent, he will be forced to call off school.
Enjoy this recipe, probably created by someone who loves Seinfeld.
The Shmoopie
from Runamock Maple
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