I'm getting ready to see Sebastian Maniscalco tonight at Madison Square Garden, and I can't wait. Here's hoping this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl make you laugh even a smidgen of the way I will be guffawing at the show!
1
Favorite thing I read this week - My stomach is flat. The "L" is silent.
2
How long after a skunk dies does it keep smelling? Because I have been driving by the same roadkill all week, and my car still smells like a weed factory every time I pass it.
3
My colleague was complaining about gift cards, and I had to agree. First, it always seems impersonal to send one via email (even though that is the easiest way not to lose them). Again, a physical gift card is way too easy to misplace. A printed gift card looks so cheesy and never prints like you see it on the screen. Plus, you use about an entire printer's worth of ink to get it printed. You never use the whole card amount on one purchase, then you have to stress about how much is left on the damn thing, and you feel badly about wasting that last .37, so you hang onto the thing for like 3 extra years until you find it in THAT pile and decide to just throw it out. Also, why the hell do I have to pay an extra $8 in fees just to give someone money? My advice (and my colleague's) - just give cash!
4
Along the same lines, sort of, I have found myself longing for the ability to send someone a mix of songs, but not electronically. Like, I want to press record on a tape player or at least burn a CD and send my love via music. Somehow, a text with a link just doesn't seem to cut it. Mainly because, I would think it was spam and delete it if I received this.
5
Every time a hybrid car goes by me as I stand outside, the sound of it makes me feel like a spaceship is descending upon me and will scoop me up, never to be seen again.
6
After spending countless hours trying to fix this situation, here is my best advice to any parents of gamers. NEVER EVER set up a gaming account (mainly PlayStation in this case) under your own name and/or email address. The email I used to be sneaky for Christmas years ago is no longer accessible. Neither is the password I used anywhere to be found. You basically wait online for an agent for hours, then, if you can't find the information they are requesting, such as your grandfather's mother's sister's maiden name, within two minutes, they disconnect you and then ban you from using online support thereafter. I want to take this $600 console and chuck it out the damn window...
7
My husband had his annual eye exam this week, and the doctor asked him if he's noticed any changes. His answer was that yes, if fact, now that our daughter is in college, he no longer needs to strain his eyes to look at the faded sizes of her underwear versus my underwear when folding the laundry. The eye doctor thinks this is a great idea for an ad to remind people to get their eyes checked!
8
Then he told me about when he went to get his haircut and brought up the topic in which he is best versed - fantasy football. Unbeknownst to him, his stylist is also a fantasy fanatic, she's very unhappy with her team and discussing this topic caused her to enter into a hand-rambling tirade that would make an Italian blush. Normally, this would probably be a turn on for him, but she was so animated, he was just hoping that she didn't shave off unwanted tufts of hair accidentally!
9
I've started taking a new route to work, and it seems like I discover a different road every day. Like yesterday, I drove by Shinnecock Road, and I was like, WTF? Was the builder of the homes on this road getting his knob polished every day? And how do you say the name of that street out loud without bursting into laughter? Would love to be on the phone with a foreign customer service agent and try to sound that one out!
10
Since I am an educator of sorts, I'd like to tell you what you can do to really help the environment. It's called refilling your liquor bottles. All it takes is the largest size of your favorite base alcohol and a set of various-sized funnels. I have photographed my family of Titos bottles as an example below. Voila! Portability for any occasion! (Sidebar tip - the size of the bottle is commensurate to the amount of time you wish to spend with the people involved. But they don't need to know that.)
Many, any people around me have been sick of late. So, being an uncertified doctor, I prescribed myself a heavy intake of vodka to kill whatever might want to grow and fester in me. So far, my "prescription" has worked fabulously! Check out the link I included for other (medically-approved) benefits of vodka. Just ignore the second half of the article...
Take a shot and call me in the morning
Commenti