Please go "Easy on Me." Unlike Adele, The Boozy Weathergirl will not be postponing this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
Waiting for a big snow storm in the Northeast is like going at it with a great partner who always seems to climax first - a whole lotta build up to not a lot of satisfaction. The storm this weekend better come to fruition, because I really want some time to walk around my house braless!
2
I bark stuff at Alexa so much, that I find myself a bit lost when there is no Echo around to talk to. Like, how do I add to my grocery list when I am driving and remember the most amazing thing to cook, but Alexa is at home, stuck inside a gadget on my counter? (Like this specific example would ever really happen in my life, but I do think of things to add to my shopping lists at the weirdest times)
3
Speaking of grocery lists, how is it possible that I forget to add so many things to my grocery list? And I only realize this AFTER shopping? And I find myself at some kind of grocery store every damn day?
4
I sit at work or in my home office, and I am surrounded by cords. There are cords for everything, even the stuff that should be cordless. I'm tripping on them, running them over with my chair, trying to constantly move them out of my way. Do not come at me during one of these cord wrestling matches, because I promise they can also become a deadly weapon if I am frustrated enough. #cutthecord
5
Speaking of sitting at a desk, I recently looked at a job posting where one of the requirements was exactly that - "must be able to sit at a desk." How challenging must this job be if you need to list THAT as a headliner of responsibilities? Man, sign me up!
6
Even after 49 years, why do I still feel like the pillow police are going to descend upon me when I cut that tag off of a pillow?
7
How is it that your toe knows EXACTLY the right spot on which to connect to a chair or table leg so that when it happens, it sends such pain searing through your body that you would swear someone just cracked that toe off?
8
I asked a candidate to list some times that might work for an interview. This was the email response I got, verbatim - "Good afternoon any time is fine. Accept the 2.3.22 & 2.14.22." Girl, this is not a text message. You are supposed to be trying to impress me. Also, get a dictionary. "Accept" and "except" are not the same. Must I even respond to this?
9
It's football-watching season, and that means millions of Americans are ordering loads of chicken wings. Some people like to eat wings with Blue Cheese dressing. Others prefer Ranch. Usually, you order both. Problem is, these two dressings look EXACTLY THE SAME in those tiny plastic containers. Would it be that hard for whoever is filling those cups to take a Sharpie and just label each with an "R" or a "BC" on the top? Would it? Because that's a hell of a lot better than having everyone at your party dipping their nasty-ass fingers in each cup, trying to find the one that pleases them!
10
My cousin had the brilliant idea for me to use boozy starters for my daily Wordle guesses. Olive, mixer, tonic - all have served me well. Find your passion and use it for Wordle. It will change your life. Promise.
Friday morning, while driving my daughter into school, she ironically told me she was going to order meatloaf at the restaurant she'd be visiting on Saturday. About five minutes later, my phone buzzed with a message that Meatloaf had passed away. I might not do anything for love, but I would drink one of these to honor the guy who crafted some of the longest songs known to man. I'd drink it like a bat outta hell...
Paradise (by the dashboard light?)
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