Salad Bar
- The Boozy Weathergirl
- 21 hours ago
- 2 min read
I was excited that I left a bar sober this week. I mean, it was a salad bar, but a girl can start somewhere, right? This week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl won't be much deeper than that, just warning you.
1
A lot of people are working on their summer bodies right now. I am happy to say that mine looks like I have a great personality.
2
I am not a huge fan of math. Never have been. So, I have started my own calculations. If I have one glass of wine, and I refill it before it is empty, it's still one glass of wine. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!
3
I was driving and thinking about how random my playlist was. I'm like crying from heartbreak, thug lovin' then sporting a cowboy hat and swinging my lasso all in the span of 10 minutes.
4
Yesterday, I self-diagnosed an idiot intolerance. I think I might have had some immunity built up for it in the past, but there must be a new strain out now.
5
I am at the point in my life where I far a lot but then have to ask myself if it really was just a fart.
6
Like all other things in my life, I overindulge the amount of lotion I try to apply to my skin. This inevitably leads to an awkward situation when I then have to take all this extra lotion and ask people if they need some, because it won't saturate into my skin. I guess "ask" is probably not the right word. The awkwardness happens when I start rubbing the excess on others, even if I don't know them, and they happen to be standing by me.
7
Best line from a book this week - "You know the deadline on this is tighter than my mother-in-law's Spanx, right?"
8
I was really looking at my face in the mirror the other day, and I noticed two large creases in my forehead that hadn't been there before. I've named them "Shawn" and "Morgan."
9
Speaking of Shawn, he did come up with a helpful idea when picking up warm take out. He turned the seat heater up to full blast on the passenger side, so that his Reuben and fries would not get cold.
10
The suggested outfits that SHEIN throws into my feed range from Lily Pulitzer garden party to filthy whore who takes it in any orifice for crack. There is no in between.
I'm never drinking again. Well, unless you might want to drink tonight. These two sentences are basically the story of my life and explain why I am eternally conflicted. I don't know if this cocktail is supposed to make you never want to drink again or it just tastes so bad you can't recover. Let me know, please...
Never again
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