I have been insatiably hungry lately. Like, gnaw-my-own-arm-off famished. To make matters worse, I am craving weird shit from my childhood. So, this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl will focus on those forgotten gems that everyone loves to sneaky eat!
1
Uncrustables - who knew Americans could get lazy enough that they wouldn't even make a simple, fresh PB&J? But, damn is it easy to grab one of these out the freezer and pretend you made a decent lunch for yourself.
2
Goldfish - these little baked crackers of cheese are a delight. They probably taste even better when YOU are baked. And the variety of sizes and flavors now is almost overwhelming.
3
Sloppy Joes - it's like the Lazy Man's Burger - beef patty smooshed with ketchup, all on a bun. I don't think I had one for about 30 years, but when I did, I needed more.
4
Crackers and cheese with the red stick - I'm sorry, but I do love the taste of a perfected, processed cheese. And those see-through packs, with the pseudo–Keebler Club Crackers, including a red stick for application, are just the thing that brings you back to sitting in the cafeteria with your metal, Scooby Doo lunchbox, your bologna sandwich on white bread with Miracle Whip and a Capri Sun.
5
Fruit Roll Ups - I also love the taste of fake fruit flavoring. When you unroll that thing, it might be sticky, but the textured side, plus the smooth side, all balled up and tangy in your mouth is magic. You should be able to wrap them around other things. Might make the experience more enjoyable.
6
Cookie Crisp Cereal - These discs supposedly look like chocolate chip cookies. I guess they taste like them too. But, do they? And, do we care? They make the most-delightful milk to slurp up afterward.
7
Bagel Bites - Bagel? Pizza? Drunken late-night delight? All of the above!
8
Chicken Nuggets - Yes, folks, I'm talking dino nuggets. As you chomp away at prehistoric cut outs, you suddenly don't mind if one of them has been soaked in ketchup for 30 minutes. That just adds to the marinade.
9
Pop Tarts - Warmed or unwarmed, these delicacies are akin to being in Paris. Paris, Kentucky, that is.
10
Hot Dogs - They are salty. They are sweet. They can be grilled. They can be boiled. They can be microwaved. On a bun. Cut up on a plate. Maybe all of the above. Just don't think about where they came from, and you're golden.
You health nuts, take a chill pill. You can still eat all this shit and live until you're 100. And you're probably a lot happier for it! So many memorable foods to choose from. Take your pick...
Nugget lovin'
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