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Writer's pictureThe Boozy Weathergirl

#tossitbacktuesdays

Found this oldie but goodie from November 17, 2018. Since it is Tuesday, and there will be snow here in CT, thought it might give you all a good chuckle! Think of this as my Boozy Dictionary and refer to it as needed...


They’re talking about more snow for Tuesday. Some followers submitted a few catchy terms in my last post. Made me realize we need to start the season with a Boozy Weather Girl Dictionary. I’ll be accepting new terms throughout the season, so let’s have some pun:


Pour cast - (brilliant term submitted by Alison Keil Sokol) The Boozy Weather Girl’s drinking forecasts

Blizzard - storms that turn a snow day into a snow week, causing the need for anxiety meds to rise in the US and Canada


Cancellation - unscheduling of a planned activity OR the reason you drink at 7am as you watch your dreams of an actual vacation slip away, because you’ve used up all your flex and vacation time on winter weather days


Charge - what you should be doing to your electronics OR what you’re doing on retail Web sites while you cower in a dark corner, trying to avoid your kids on snow days


Connecticold - (another punny entry by David Shand) Anyone who has lived in the Northeast gets this


Delay - a pause OR the thing that screws up your entire morning as you beg neighbors to take the kids for just an hour and/or blatantly lie to your boss, claiming this is the only time you’ll need time off for such a thing


El Niño/La Nina - cute little Hispanic children OR the furies of weather Hell that will descend upon us at any moment


Frozen Pipes - what happens when pipes ice over OR what happens when you drink your margarita too quickly


Fuzzy socks - clothing items that warm your feet OR the coating that forms on your teeth after days of not caring about hygiene while being held captive in your house by the weather


Homework - classroom reinforcements assigned by teachers OR the indentured servitude your children enter into in order to win back their electronics after hours of pissing you off on snow days


Ice - slippery stuff that keeps cars from driving straight OR things to keep drinks cold and humans from driving straight


Jeep - what the upper middle class militia purchase so they can tell everyone how unaffected they are by driving in snow


Plowed - what streets are after it snows OR what The Boozy Weather girl’s friends are while it’s snowing


Robocall - what should be a brief, five-second message sent by your school district to announce a weather-related delay or cancellation, but rather turns into a five minute explanation over-justifying a Superintendent’s insecurities about his/her decision

Screen Time - normal, daily uses of electronics, traditionally limited to two hours, which increases to 26 hours during snow days


Salt - material you buy to make sure no one slips on their a** on your front doorstep and sues you OR something you use on the rim of their glass to make them tipsy enough to forget the pain


Shoveling - what you do to snow after it falls OR what you do with comfort food as you try to block out your children’s annoying voices


Snowtini - really any martini enjoyed while it’s snowing


Snow-day activities - really annoying, complicated projects, usually involving crafting, that the Pinteresty moms post on Facebook to make the rest of us jealous of their perfect, Stepford lives

Superintendent - a town’s best friend or worst enemy, based on his/her inclement-weather calls


Thumping - a hard, fast snow OR pounding of glasses or cups on any table during a snow-day drinking game


Thunder snow - something weathermen blow their load over announcing


Town parent pages on FB - a platform to share questions and answers about local schools and activities OR an easy way for people to show their self-inflated importance, prejudices and narrow views, usually documented by asinine questions that can easily be answered on school/town Web sites or 12-paragraph rants about the injustice of weather-related delays/cancellations


Whining - what children do within seconds of learning they have the day off due to inclement weather

Wine-ing - what smart parents do to overcome the last definition


Wintry Mix - combination of sleet and snow OR a combination of liquor and juice, tonic or seltzer


Winter - same damn thing that happens every year, yet seems to surprise many, despite multiple warnings



Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl







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1 Comment


Susan Barnett
Susan Barnett
Jan 26, 2021

Time for a SNOWTINI!

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