Found this oldie but goodie from November 17, 2018. Since it is Tuesday, and there will be snow here in CT, thought it might give you all a good chuckle! Think of this as my Boozy Dictionary and refer to it as needed...
They’re talking about more snow for Tuesday. Some followers submitted a few catchy terms in my last post. Made me realize we need to start the season with a Boozy Weather Girl Dictionary. I’ll be accepting new terms throughout the season, so let’s have some pun:
Pour cast - (brilliant term submitted by Alison Keil Sokol) The Boozy Weather Girl’s drinking forecasts
Blizzard - storms that turn a snow day into a snow week, causing the need for anxiety meds to rise in the US and Canada
Cancellation - unscheduling of a planned activity OR the reason you drink at 7am as you watch your dreams of an actual vacation slip away, because you’ve used up all your flex and vacation time on winter weather days
Charge - what you should be doing to your electronics OR what you’re doing on retail Web sites while you cower in a dark corner, trying to avoid your kids on snow days
Connecticold - (another punny entry by David Shand) Anyone who has lived in the Northeast gets this
Delay - a pause OR the thing that screws up your entire morning as you beg neighbors to take the kids for just an hour and/or blatantly lie to your boss, claiming this is the only time you’ll need time off for such a thing
El Niño/La Nina - cute little Hispanic children OR the furies of weather Hell that will descend upon us at any moment
Frozen Pipes - what happens when pipes ice over OR what happens when you drink your margarita too quickly
Fuzzy socks - clothing items that warm your feet OR the coating that forms on your teeth after days of not caring about hygiene while being held captive in your house by the weather
Homework - classroom reinforcements assigned by teachers OR the indentured servitude your children enter into in order to win back their electronics after hours of pissing you off on snow days
Ice - slippery stuff that keeps cars from driving straight OR things to keep drinks cold and humans from driving straight
Jeep - what the upper middle class militia purchase so they can tell everyone how unaffected they are by driving in snow
Plowed - what streets are after it snows OR what The Boozy Weather girl’s friends are while it’s snowing
Robocall - what should be a brief, five-second message sent by your school district to announce a weather-related delay or cancellation, but rather turns into a five minute explanation over-justifying a Superintendent’s insecurities about his/her decision
Screen Time - normal, daily uses of electronics, traditionally limited to two hours, which increases to 26 hours during snow days
Salt - material you buy to make sure no one slips on their a** on your front doorstep and sues you OR something you use on the rim of their glass to make them tipsy enough to forget the pain
Shoveling - what you do to snow after it falls OR what you do with comfort food as you try to block out your children’s annoying voices
Snowtini - really any martini enjoyed while it’s snowing
Snow-day activities - really annoying, complicated projects, usually involving crafting, that the Pinteresty moms post on Facebook to make the rest of us jealous of their perfect, Stepford lives
Superintendent - a town’s best friend or worst enemy, based on his/her inclement-weather calls
Thumping - a hard, fast snow OR pounding of glasses or cups on any table during a snow-day drinking game
Thunder snow - something weathermen blow their load over announcing
Town parent pages on FB - a platform to share questions and answers about local schools and activities OR an easy way for people to show their self-inflated importance, prejudices and narrow views, usually documented by asinine questions that can easily be answered on school/town Web sites or 12-paragraph rants about the injustice of weather-related delays/cancellations
Whining - what children do within seconds of learning they have the day off due to inclement weather
Wine-ing - what smart parents do to overcome the last definition
Wintry Mix - combination of sleet and snow OR a combination of liquor and juice, tonic or seltzer
Winter - same damn thing that happens every year, yet seems to surprise many, despite multiple warnings
Time for a SNOWTINI!