If you don't know someone who has COVID, the flu or RSV right now (hopefully not all at once), well, you need to get more friends. I'm trying to spread only sarcasm and laughter with this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I have now reached the age where I need a reminder to be reminded of things.
2
I despise paper straws. Like, so much so that I no longer care how many turtles are dying from them. However, I will say that the restaurant Char and Lemon in Oxford, CT has redeemed the paper straw for me a bit. I drank several drinks there last week, using the same paper straw, and it did not shred or crumble or piss me off in any way. So, you should drink and eat there if you're ever close by.
3
My mom is doing Weight Watchers, and she told me that animal crackers were an acceptable snack on the program. So I bought a humongous bag and kept them in my car. No lie, these things have at times provided me breakfast, lunch, dinner and even something to saturate my overindulgence of liquor quite nicely. And it NEVER runs out. I swear I'll be eating from the same bag for a couple of months. I highly recommend you go to the store and buy this shit ASAP.
4
The speed limit was 35. I was doing 53. Do you think I could get away with telling the police officer that I have dyslexia?
5
I love me some fully popped popcorn. But there is nothing like those half-popped kernels you find at the bottom of the bowl. Especially when you're rolling the dice between a burst of flavor and a cracked tooth. #livingontheedge
6
I constantly go back-and-forth between wanting to better organize the apps on my phone and not wanting to mess up the muscle memory of the old set up. #analretent
7
Someone posted a meme the other day about how they sang the daycare clean up song, and their toddler sprang into action like a soldier maid. I've decided that I am going to write a similar, but pop-tastic, jingle that I sell as part of a high school curriculum, where they play it on loudspeaker each morning, helping to brainwash our children into later-in-life compliance.
8
Why can't my eyes track straight across on an Excel spreadsheet? Even if I highlight the entire line, I don't actually believe that the writing six columns over is on the right line. I have always thought that Excel was created by the devil, along with the Google mailbox, in order to prepare us for the afterlife in Hell.
9
How often do you think bank tellers just sit there and laugh at the people using the drive thru camera as a mirror that they can't stop looking into? I, for one, am always intrigued to see what I look like as I sit in the driver's seat. And now that I can, I realize how much of the lens is taken up by my incredibly large breasts, explaining why the male tellers are always so much nicer to me than the female tellers!
10
There is nothing worse than sitting down on the toilet, feeling like you really have to poop and having just a little turd or two come out. Well actually, there is. It's when you can feel there is more waiting, but it won't come out, and you wipe and wipe and wipe, and the paper is never clean. So, you keep wiping until you feel like you're going to clog the toilet, but it still doesn't end. Then you do the first flush, hoping you didn't wait too long. And you start wiping again until you get exhausted and don't care about the skid marks in your undies, because short of digging that dangler out of your hole, this ain't working.
t has been rainy and dreary all week here in CT. It's not at all getting me in the Christmas spirit. Maybe some of these "spirits" will lift mine.
Make me merry and bright
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