Someone told me this week that if you don't have a friend with COVID right now, you must not have any friends. I'm sure I'm not making any new friends with this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
Why can't I just commit to a line at the grocery store? I always have to look around, think the next line over looks shorter, then change to that line and unpack everything just as the blinking light is turned on because a millennial cashier doesn't know what to do with the check that the 90-year-old in front of me wrote. This is also why I suck at multiple choice tests.
2
Along the same lines, how can I go into a store, and within 30 minutes, completely forget where I left my car? Like, have no idea at all where the car is at.
3
I drove behind a Butkus (pronounced "butt kiss") Plumbing truck the other day, and I thought to myself - that name could be your destiny in either the sewer trades OR politics. #choices
4
We took down the holiday decorations this weekend. I put the (female) elf and the (male) Cabbage Patch Christmas baby together in a box. Imagine how surprising it would be to find an Elfin Patch Family in the box by next Xmas!
5
Couches are hungry. You know how I know this? Because they eat my little remotes for the Firestick and Apple TV all the damn time.
6
My daughter started Driver's Ed this week. They require a parent to be there for the first class, and I realized how infrequently I follow any driving laws. Never in my life have I been so certain that no one should ever learn anything about driving from me. #badexample #shamed
7
When your stomach starts grumbling, and everyone is like, "You must be so hungry!" Or, "Have you eaten today?" And in your mind you're like, "Oh, I ate plenty. I just have to fart now!"
8
Do you have that one friend who is sitting with you at a restaurant and insists that the person sitting next to you is a celebrity? To the point where they start taking secret pictures of him/her, trying to convince everyone of this poor diner's star status? Then you look at the picture closely, and you're like, "Dude, this is the mom of that annoying kid you had in your class a few years ago!"
9
I needed my life fixed. I went to a store that touted, "We can fix anything." When I got there, the sign on the door read "Knock hard, the doorbell is broken." I promptly turned around and went home.
10
I read this quote - The good in you is stronger than any bad day - and I sat and thought about this. I've had a few really crappy days this week. I think the bad pretty much punched the shit out of any strength I've got left. So, you can take your optimism and suck it, memes.
If you live somewhere where it snows, winter is about to turn up! In order to help you get through the days off ahead, I've posted a little game for the adults in the house. It can pretty much be played any day in any climate, really. Stock up and game on!
Bingo!
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