Senior Trip, Yearbook, Prom, Beach Days, Graduation. You know what this makes me? A human ATM. I am poor in pocketbook, but rich with sarcasm in this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
I can feel totally full. Not the least bit hungry. However, as soon as you put a pizza in front of me, I will house the entire thing.
2
Anyone else having the problem where you voice text and it repeats everything you've said, multiple times, in writing? So much for making hands-free a safety thing. I am going to get in a damn accident trying to correct it. No lie - I voice texted to jot down this thought, and it duplicated what I said. #fuapple
3
I was thinking about PRIDE month, and this came into my head - she + he + it = shit. Like, who gives a shit? I know a lot of "traditional Christian couples" who are the most fake, miserable people together. Yet, I don't judge them or anyone, because it's not my circus. Stay in your own lane. Let people live the way they want to live. And STFU. That's my message for June.
4
Do you ever cut the tag off of a shirt, because you don't like the feel of it on your neck, but you can never get the cut close enough? So now, instead of having a long tag to irritate you, you actually have a short little stub of a tag that annoys you more?
5
My friend and I were talking. After one conversation, she said, "I need to remember that!" So, I told her how Shawn and I always leave a piece of paper (or some physical object) lying out randomly to remind us that we need to remember something. I swear, it really works for us. But the next morning, I get a picture of a piece of paper, lying in the middle of the floor, with the text, "WTF was I supposed to remember?" Well, I guess it doesn't work for everyone.
6
My 30th college reunion was this weekend. Sadly, I was too busy to attend. I did enjoy the updates from friends who were there. It got me thinking about reunions. And I want to share that "having it all" in high school or college doesn't make you immune to life. We've all got our shit to deal with. So, if someone is still pretending that their existence is absolutely perfect, stop talking to them and run in the other direction.
7
Along these same lines, the show "Quantum Leap" came up in conversation, and we collectively thought having an escape button would be so nice. Not because we want to solve problems or change history; but rather, to escape idiotic braggarts who offend us.
8
It's graduation time, and a bunch of senior parents chipped in for a gift to celebrate the attendance lady at my daughter's high school. We called it the "Excuse us for all the excuses" gift, to reiterate that we know she knows our kids are not terminally ill or mentally insane due to all of the "appointments" they suddenly had, conveniently the morning after a big event or after a double block of study halls.
9
In one of the faculty bathrooms at work hangs a picture of a sloth that reads, "It's OK to slow down." Um, not in a public shitter it's not. And, I mean, how depressing is that for someone who is constipated? People are constantly trying to come in. Like, banging on the door. You actually want the whole thing to go as fast as it can!
10
I just read that the founder of AA asked for whiskey on his deathbed. His nurse refused to give it to him. I don't even know how to feel about this, but my first thought was, "bitch!"
I'm drowning in the minutia of the details right now. I know, I know. This too shall pass. What I'd prefer to drown in is a vat of this vodka watermelon spritzer. Just saying "spritzer" refreshes me!
Whatta melon!
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