Will Smith is making me proud with pics of his dad bod, while Madonna is out and about with her 27-year-old boy toy. So, I'm letting it all hang out in this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
It amazes me that Boomers can survive in the 21st century. I say this because I have never had more torturous conversations with anyone over the age of 60 than I have regarding the use of technology. I have tried to teach people with multiple advanced degrees how to simply turn on a new TV, and it has resulted in tears on their end. I'm quite certain that at least one of my parents has lost at least 5 years off his/her life due to the anxiety caused by even thinking about a new tech product. How is it that brilliant people become so defeated by anything electronic? Baffling. Truly.
2
Walked in a deli to pick up lunch and saw this sign hanging on the wall - "Try not to suck today." I instantly fell in love with this motto. It's my new mantra. I hope you can feel my suckage lessening as you read this.
3
I'd like to share the above wisdom with some of the people I've had the unique experience of interviewing remotely recently. Just a few tips from someone who might not be an HR guru, but who does have a lick of common sense. First, make sure I can see your whole face on the screen when interviewing. If I wanted to hire Wilson from Home Improvement, I would call Tim Allen. Secondly, a bathroom, storage closet or any area of your home where there is rope hanging from the ceiling (that looks like a noose) is NOT the ideal place to make a first impression. Lastly, your Sassoon cut off tee is not an appropriate interview outfit, pretty much ever. The only exception there would be interviewing at Hooters and such, but that's not what I'm doing here. If you think I'm joking about any of this, I'm not. And if you think I'm not speaking from real experience here, you are sadly mistaken, friends.
4
I pull this trick all the time. When I am being pissy and answering you in one word sentences only, I'm not "fine." I probably have not been "fine" in years, and trust me, it's all culminating in this moment, right here. So watch out...
5
When I talk, you listen. And I really need to thank my lucky stars for you. Because when you talk, all I want to do is use that honorary degree in life coaching that I've given myself to help fix you.
6
Why do I pack sandwiches for lunch? If I add any toppings to it, it gets soggy. If I put it in a plastic bag, it gets soggy. I guess this will be my new weight-loss tactic, because no one wants to eat watery bread.
7
It has been raining here for days. I have been unmotivated and on the verge of collapsing at my desk hourly. How do people in Seattle do it? #whereisthefingsun
8
This week's SMH moment - I passed a door with a peephole next to a huge window.
9
I watch a lot of stuff on Hulu, but I don't pay for Hulu+, so I am subjected to watching the same ads over and over again. And even though I've seen this one a million times, there's a migraine ad that features Khloe Kardashian (btw, to me, the Kardashians are an ad for birth control in general), where they actually have to put her name on the screen so that you know it's her. Like, she has had so much work done to her face, I truly believe you would not know who she was unless her name was there. Damn, if she needs this much plastic surgery at 36, I guess I should just rip my face off and start over...
10
Words to live by - it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
You know what's nice? Sunshine and a margaritas. Today might be Seis de Mayo, but can't we just pretend that every day is a Mexican holiday? I know I can!
¡Si, por favor!
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